Comments on: “I Remember You”

By: Amie

Amie — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 15:54:03 +0000

Thank you for this recommendation. It sounds like something that will help me. Even the excerpts from above help me. One of my greatest fears is that he is forgotten. I worry that my young children won’t remember him. At 42 I know that I want to eventually find a partner and it just scares me.

I just wrote on my blog about my crush and how crazy that is.

I’m getting the book today, thank you.

Amie

By: Lesley H

Lesley H — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 10:23:49 +0000

When my father died in 1982, I was driving my mom to the funeral home for making arrangements. I was only 24 at the time. Even though she had decided to go alone, I insisted on tagging along; although none of us had any idea on what to be expected. We ended up getting whatever the mortician suggested and I recalled the casket alone costed over $10,000 in 1982 dollar. My mom was an fashion buyer for a chair store and obviously a super bargainer. But I honestly didn’t see her bargaining on anything while we were there. I didn’t blame her cause information on such issue was indeed very limited at that time (when PC was not yet popular) and emotion certainly played a major role on funeral decisions.

However, the world had really moved forward over the last 25 years and information (in any form : books, webs, blog, etc.) is readily accessible to everyone. Then when my own husband died this past summer, I found myself a lot better prepared on everything, cause I was able to assess prior information on anything I possibly needed. Possessed with all the necessary knowledge, I was even able to challenge my funeral director on his mis-charge over the burial vault while successfully upgraded the casket from stainless steel to bronze at only nominal charges. Despite that I still paid over $14,000 on my husband’s casket, the overall funeral cost was still more than 10% lower than my dad’s but with still higher service quality on every item. On that, I must agree with Mrs. Leyland that information age has served it purposes. But I must say that this was one area that I wish I never need any knowledge on.

Mrs. Lesley H

By: Arlene H. Fleming

Arlene H. Fleming — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:01:57 +0000

I read the book for the first time on August 7 2006 when I was on a night flight from Tokyo to Phoenix for the arrangements of my husband’s funeral (I flew to Japan for a meeting the day after my husband passed!).
Seeing what I was reading, the lady sitting next to me had commented very positively about the book and how she gathered strength from it after her husband died. That was indeed some incentive to keep me reading. I recalled finishing the whole book on the plane but, strangely enough, not able to remember a word I had read! I guessed I just unable to concentrate on anything.
It took me the whole next morning to finish all funeral arrangements. Regardless having experienced these things only a year before when my ex-husband passed, I still experienced great pains during the handling of such arrangement. Since I was taking an evening flight back to Tampa FL. and didn’t feel like going anythwhere, I just decided to stay at the funeral home that afternoon and started reading the book – again, right outside the casket palor. Reading through the whole book within a few short hours, I was partically absorbed by what she had experienced and suddenly established an unspeakable bond with the author. I must second Adelle on recommending this book to anyone who had or about to enter into the challenging world of widowhood.
This book had given me a new perspective in life where I tend to look at most things in a positive angle. Now that my husbands’ things had all finished up and my career is demanding my total committement and and energy. Despite of the inevitable life events during the recent past, I must admit that the last 12 months was my most satisfying and rewarding time that I’ve ever had. I am glad to having a renewal relationship with my two daughters (aged 21 and 23) and I am indeed eager to explore my new and exciting stage in life. Turning 50 (in March 07), to me, represents a new beginning than a dead end. Its not that bad after all.
I wouls also like to compliment Mrs. Leyland on her effort to writing the ‘Funeral Guide For Widows’ for her church. It was a brave and graceful act on closing her husband’s eyes as a gesture of closure considering that was only her first bereavement. I just wish I had done the same to my late husband myself soon after he died. For that, I still feel a little regret up to these day.

Arlene Fleming,
Tempa, FL

By: anna

anna — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 21:52:36 +0000

What wonderful words….what a wonderful gift to give to the world…sharing your learning so people can cope better in the future.
I remember dealing with seeing the body…I don’t think I will ever forget his face…thank you for your contribution

By: Janice Reid Leyland

Janice Reid Leyland — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 16:59:45 +0000

Well, I must say that I learnt everything about death and their related issues on web. Science does wonders to this world of ours but this was one area that I wish I had never benefited from. Widowed at 49 just this past June, I had searched quite extensively on all information regarding widowhood. From the practical aspects of tax return, insurance claims, closing bank accounts, cancelling credit card, estates settlement to the more emotional issue on grief and mourning, I had read it all and put most of them into practice. I had acquired extensive knowledges on death rituals and funeral arrangements to the extent that I was able to publish a pocket size ‘Funeral Guide For Widows” for my church. I considered it a small achievement as my husband’s funeral was the very first time in my life that I’d directly been dealing with death. In fact, that was also the first time I’d actually touched a casket, not to memtion buying one. Without seeking advices from some widow sites in advance, I would never having the courage to actually viewing my husband in the mortuary (all by myself), kissed him and then even closing his eyes for him before I left. The information age had served its purposes. I am indeed thankful for all anyone who put in their time and efforts to those who happened to be wearing their uncomfortable shoes. These are the people that truely deserve my gratitude and respect.

Mrs. Janice Leyland

By: Ashley Massaro

Ashley Massaro — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 20:01:03 +0000

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Interesting post. I came across this blog by accident, but it was a good accident. I have now bookmarked your blog for future use. Best wishes. Ashley Massaro….