Inspiring Quote for Older Widows and Widowers
July 30, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
Agatha Christie said
“I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find – at the age of fifty, say – that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about…It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.”
When we lose our spouse especially later in life, we can draw the conclusion that there is nothing left for us. Interestingly, my mum who was 78 this week has more hobbies and interests now, then when Dad was alive. She misses him hugely, she still grieves however, she has found a new life. She is inspiration for all of us that there is a new life out there…..as she describes it…..
“My life was your Dad, my life was being a great partner. It took me time to realise that no matter how much I pray that he will come back…he won’t. So I realised that I had to stop living as a widow and living my lifeas me. Do I miss him, each second but do I enjoy all the new experiences…yes. Life is for the living, when that comes to an end I will be with him again”
I know what she means, part of me has died….yet there is a part of me that was suppressed which I can now release. That
feels guilty to say, I don’t want you to think that in anyway that lessons the grief, it just gives me hope for enjoying life in the future…..I suppose you could say, it is truly a Widows Quest!
Remember to help me to honor Dad’s memory by sending in your stories, dedications to your loved ones. You can email them to me at anna@b5media.com by 10 August
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My mother was of the generation of your mother’s, and I think she generally lived for and did what she thought my father wanted. And I also believe, as you stated, that she has embarked on a “new life” and has made changes and pursued things that she never would have done, if my father were alive. And I say, good for her – good for both of them!
Remember the posting you had about choosing music for a funeral? I wish that I had chosen “The Dance”, the Garth Brooks song of several years back. Part of the lyrics:
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance – I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance.
This makes me tear up, but the words are Oh. So. True. (and I know that the wording is not proper English, but these ARE the lyrics)
Jessica – great words and so true. Its funny do you know from our mothers era, after the initial grief you can see many of her friends actually enjoying life to the full. It is almost that they are released, thats not to underestimate their grief…but there is also a new energy. Mum has always been more social than Dad, and I think his death rocked her to the core, however she is now freer than she probably ever has been…though she would never admit that
Going to find that song now….