Is Grief The Ultimate Exam?
August 25, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Affirmations of Life
I was lucky that growing up, I never minded exams. For me they were a test of nerve, a test of your knowledge, a test of your mental strength. As the children around me get their latest exam results, I wonder whether grief is the ultimate exam to pass or fail?
E = Emotional strength. Can you understand and learn to live with the new emotions that flow through your body?
X = Cross to bear – how do you cope with being a widow/widower? How do you cope with ticking that box on a form, how do you cope with the pain of lost love?The ultimate test of personal strength and courage.
A = Ability to bounce back from tragedy.What do they say….it is not what happens to you in this world, it is how you react?
M = Maintaining a positive outlook on this wonderful life despite the pain of grief and the feeling of loss and loneliness. 
What got me through those exams as a youngster was understanding it needed hard work to pass them, it needed resilience and a self belief…..grief is like that too, no short cuts…just hard work and finding that self belief to believe that you will succeed.
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Since I have only been a widow since June, I guess I’m not an expert. I don’t know what will come in the next few months or years. I don’t know if grief is the ultimate exam but it certainly is the toughest test I’ve ever had. It is very hard work but I know that you just have to keep going and believe in yourself. I know I can do this. People have been asking me where I am finding the strength and I think some of it is simply self respect. We owe it to ourselves to make it through. We owe it to the memory of our loved ones who are no longer with us too. My husband would be proud of how far I’ve come in the last few months and that keeps me going. My wish for all of us who have been widowed is that we find the strength to pass this very tough life exam.
I love the idea of self respect, I had never thought about it like that before. You are right and again inspired another blog post later on this week! We need to dig deep and find that self respect, previously we sometimes relied on our partner to help us with that..now it is about us standing up tall and showing to ourselves and our lost loved one that we have that inner strength, that will to carry on. Thanks Leslie…it has made me think differently as often I think we lose self respect when in actual fact it is something that we should gain