Missing Them, Missing Love
December 10, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Loneliness, Guilt & Depression
You miss them
You miss them not being around
You miss them not being in your life 
But more than that……
You miss the feeling of being held,
Of seeing their smile when they see you.
Of them gently kissing you not for sexual pleasure but because they love you more than life itself…
Yes, I miss him not being here but more than that I miss the love that surrounded our life.
Oh wow, you exactly described the feeling I have been having since around 2AM, just the presence of that love filled my life in a way that has been gone since his death. I met with a realtor yesterday about selling our home and that has triggered the first total meltdown in a week or so. I am so grateful for a place like this that lets me know my feelings are normal. Thank you for having the ability to put into words such deep feelings.
Deb
Glad that it is not just me!
Are you selling because you have to or because you want to?
Think I am in the sentimental mode at the moment, seem to be craving that cuddle at the moment.
I am selling by choice and no time pressure, just feel in “limbo” until I get to where I intend on settling. My family is not here and few true friends so will be starting over!
Deb
I have never blogged before and do not know how to do it. Missing Them is exactly how I feel.
I lost my best friend and husband on November 25th so on Christmas Day it will be one month. Dec. 19th was his 52 birthday. He was not ill. We were driving to see the grandbabies for Thanksgiving and he fell asleep in the car and never woke up. He had no physical health problems at all.
I have been with James for 22 years, married for 16.
There are no local support groups at all in the rural area I live in. I only have a few friends here and no family as we moved here only 6 years ago.
I talk on the phone alot. I cry alot. I ask God questions alot. And I talk to James alot.
I am just feeling very alone and very sad. I hear so many things – time will heal – I understand your grief – it will get easier. I know people mean well but without knowing the intense and deep love we had they just can’t understand what I am going through. I get to where I don’t want to go anywhere as everyone asks me how I am holding up and it is Christmas, and I don’t want to spread my sorrow to anyone else at this time of year.
Some days I get hysterical and some days I get teary but no days do I understand this. Every day something triggers my grief, my loneliness, and my missing my love.
It has only been 29 days so I think this is normal but I just don’t know what is normal as I thankfully have never had to deal with anything like this before.
Anyways, I don’t know if this is the right place for me to be or not. If it isn’t can someone tell me another online place, or how to blog properly.
I lost the love of my life 6 weeks ago. I didn’t believe in fairytales before her. My life had been a struggle before her and she made everything disappear. All I wanted to do was hold her all day long every day. I miss her more than can be explained and I am having a very difficult time handling things. I am glad there is a place like this that I can say things and not put my pain on the people around me.
Josh – we are all here to help and it is a great community to help you through. look through the posts on grief as hopefully they will help you see that grief hurts….but you will learn to cope. There will be good days and bad days…..but eventually you learn to cope with the pain.
Let me know what you are really struggling with and how you are really feeling…
Welcome to the group Josh.
For me, it has been 102 days. I guess I am coping better but inside I don’t feel a whole lot better.
I cannot understand why God has taken my love away from me and I honestly don’t think I ever will.
I wander around my house missing him all the time. I do go on with life – don’t get me wrong. I am realistic and I am not going to curl up in a ball and die myself.
I can get through a day without sobbing but not without getting teary eyed or without longing for him.
I tell people I am fine as they really do not want to hear otherwise. I go to a grief support group where I can tell them the truth and it is good for me.
This place is a good place to bring us hope and I am glad I found.
Thank you all.
Donna – do you know when I started to move forward was when I started to realise that there was no logic…I was looking for a reason but the reason is just that we are all born to die at some stage. There is no reason about when we are taken, when I could get my head around that I stopped looking for logic and started thinking about coping…does that make sense?
I can identify with everything you write here – it is so beautiful,almost as if it was me speaking !! Thanks for giving me that feeling..hug
Supriya
I think that is one thing I get from this site, that understanding that our feelings may feel so personal yet they are so universal. Pain is caused by different events yet pain is as powerful no matter what causes it – would love to hear your ways of getting through the pain barrier