People soon forget your pain and grief
November 3, 2006 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Building Memorials, Grief
One reason that I am asking for entries for a Carnival on Sunday on how to turn your life around, is to highlight that as time goes by, the people around you may start to forget your pain. But that pain never goes away, it eases of course but the feeling of losing someone special NEVER goes away. What we do is learn to cope.
My friends have the date of the anniversary in their diary and we all get together to celebrate his life. Making a note of other people’s days is important so that you can acknowledge their pain and support them through. Maybe a handwritten note, a card, a call……just show that you care. The more we do it for others, the more that we change the world!
Next month will be 8 yrs. since my husband died tragically in Mexico where we were celebrating our 30th anniversary. He aspirated salt water while snorkeling and it asphyxiated him. For the most part, on most days, I am able to carry on ‘normally’, but one of my favorite sayings is, “Don’t pay any attention to that man behind the curtain.” I have learned to cope, I don’t let people see my lonliness but there is a scar, a gaping hole that runs deeply through my soul. Every subsequent loss magnifies the pain I have suffered over the death of my husband. It is divided into life before, and life after he died. I will never get over it and know better than to try.