Reconciliation not Resolution

I received a wonderful email from someone who has lost his wife and asked me about how to cope when the family starts to quarrel over the death.

Wow, a huge question and one that really does depend on the situation but here are my thoughts..

I think we often as human beings need to be right, when what we need to do is understand that there is often not just a single right answer. Each person is different, although we have common bonds in a family, each family consists of individuals….

Each person will grieve at a different rate, some with anger…others silently. No one is right, no one is wrong.

I think the best way is to come through a family disagreement is to be empathetic to the differences – even if you are alone in doing that!

I try and focus on what we do agree on, how we can reconcile our differences rather than resolve the problem. Why? Because I think when emotions are high at times of stress, then we won’t find a solution that fits all. We can only find a solution that reconciles our differences rather than solve them..

What do you think?