Releasing the Fear of Loneliness
March 25, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Releasing Fear
When you lose your partner, the fear of loneliness can be immense 
. However, there is an old saying that there is nothing to fear but fear itself and that is true when you suffer bereavement.
- You were alive before you fell in love and capable of living alone. We forget that we are an individual and that we can cope if we allow ourselves to believe in ourselves.
- Many of us grew up hoping to fall in love…we did….we have lived a dream.
- Loneliness comes when you don’t find ways of occupying your mind. It is about retraining our mind a way from doing things as a couple to doing those things alone. For instance, I found myself thinking “Oh no I have to go shopping alone..then I smiled as he hated it…actually if I thought about it, the experience of shopping is maybe better!”
- We have lost a partner but we have not lost the love or the capacity to love…we are hurting but we should never fear the emotion of love as it is a beautiful emotion.
- Fear is intangible. I try and embrace the loneliness rather than fear it. After all….what am I fearing? Loneliness is a feeling rather than danger?
I am 49 years old and my husband died in a car crash 13 years ago. I have been on my own raising my kids for those 13 years. They are doing ok. My daughter will become a doctor of psychology next year and my son is studying for his business degree.
I look back and wonder why I’m still alone after all those years. I don’t think I’m a bad person…maybe I am. I am scared of facing the future alone and with little money. I don’t have a house of my own as I moved in with my mother after my husband died. I work full time but won’t have much money to retire with and this is scaring me.
Being alone is something I am used to now but moving into a future of uncertainty keeps me awake at night sometimes.