Should we love again?
February 20, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Affirmations of Life
It is a question that often comes up in my mind. Firstly, I feel guilty about even thinking about falling in love again, I feel I don’t want to love again as though that would somehow be wrong and yet I know that there is nothing I can do to bring him back. I am still alive and still have a life to live.
Life in reality is about love. We learn to love in our young lives through our families. Love is something that as humans we need, that we seek as a basic need of living happily.
Love is a wonderful feeling, a feeling that I would want every person to feel during their lives. So should we feel that we can love again?
For all the guilt we feel…I still think that the answer is yes. Whether we are ready, is another question and one that will be different to each person. But falling in love in the future is not something we should feel guilty about….it will never take away our previous loves, it will never take away the memories that we have and hold forever. 
The world needs love, the world is better when people show love and for that reason I think we should allow ourselves to love again. We are still capable of giving love to this world and I think it would be wrong to shut those emotions down. If we shut them down we lose a part of us, a part of us that our spouse fell in love with….I see that when the time is right, I will share my future life with someone else…it will be different I know, but different means that I will never forget him.
I agree that we all need to love and be loved. When Josh died I asked my grandfather how I was supposed to move on with my life when half my life was now gone. He said that our hearts don’t have a limit on Love and I would one day find someone and I love as much as Josh without having to love Josh and less . I think that allowing yourself to love someone is part of the grieving process, it will not happen until you are ready.
I lost my partner to suicide 7 years ago and moving on is something I haven’t yet been able to do. I still wear my engagement ring and I refuse to take it off. I agree, the grieving process is different for everyone and some can move on more quickly than others. Maybe one day I will fall in love again, but at the moment it seems far off in the distance. I agree we, as people, have a huge capacity for love but I also think some people can never move onto another partner. Whether or not I’m one of those who can never move on, I’m not entirely sure.
I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you happiness in the future.
Zathyn
Tiffany and Zathyn
I totally agree with the time, but I also believe that the more we hold on to the past the harder it is for us to move on. I remember the night I took my ring and put it in the drawer…I was not saying goodbye, I was saying it is time now to realise that I cannot change what has happened..he is not coming back. I am now single again. That does not mean that I don’t remember, it means that I am now realising that if I don’t open up my heart then I, in some way have died as well. He would not want that….one day when I am ready someone will capture another little part of my heart…a different part but a part all the same.
As always I love hearing your thoughts, your stories and I hope this blog helps in some small way