Space will heal the grief

All the way through our lives we have to cope with emotional trauma. Children going to school, children leaving home, our own mortality, menopause – all of these are emotional and feel like losing a part of ourselves.

Yet we cope, why? Well we know that these things will happen, and we prepare for the events. We understand that there is nothing to stop these events and we learn to adjust our lives.

When you lose a spouse, or a partner it is almost the reverse. We were not prepared for this emotional crisis. Therefore the “preparation” happens after the event. This is what makes us feel helpless, but once we start coping with the emotion we start to cope…a little better every day.

If you don’t think you can cope, think of all these kind of events that have come a long and how with time you have succesfully adjusted your life to find a new happiness.

I always remember my mum seeing me leave home, she was distraught she felt that part of her was dying. She felt that she was no longer a mother! All that happened is that our relationship changed from mother/nurturer to supporter/friend. We are incredibly resilient, and trust that your survival instincts will bring you through….