Widows Quest » 1215 http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest Redefine Yourself and Rediscover Life after a Loss Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:54:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Are we being two faced to ourselves? http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/are-we-being-two-faced-to-ourselves/ http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/are-we-being-two-faced-to-ourselves/#comments Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:04:58 +0000 Anna Farmery http://www.widowsquest.com/are-we-being-two-faced-to-ourselves/ Post from: Widows Quest

]]> Sometimes I wonder when we put on the stoical face, when we smile when we are crying inside, when we say we are fine when we really want to say we feel awful – all in the name of making the other people feel better – is it OK that we are being two faced to ourselves?

Why I wonder is I can see why it is important to say all the words above

  • People get tired of us talking about our grief.
  • Depression is contagious and people try to avoid someone who is draining their energy.
  • To help ourselves - the more we talk about feeling better the more we trick our brain into feeling better.

But the worry for me, is that if we learn to live, hiding our true emotion then do we learn to shut down our emotion and do we learn not to listen to our own grief? Can that be dangerous? This is where I believe support groups for widows and widowers can be so helpful, as it is a safe environment to be truthful to ourselves. falling wall, bricks

In reality, I think having the “two faces” during our mourning is necessary but I don’t think we should ever start fooling ourselves at the same time.

What are your thoughts? 

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Post from: Widows Quest

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