A broken heart hurts as we all know, but a study by Dr Mark Porter shows that if we are not careful then grief can affect our health. In a survey, he found
“When compared with a controlled group of people who hadn’t lost anyone close to them, the bereaved showed significant increases in blood pressure, pulse rate and changes to their immune and clotting systems, which made their blood stickier and a heart attack more likely. The changes were most marked during the first six months after bereavement and have been pounced on by the …read more

Today I had three different people say to me phrases that seem alien to me. They were
Good grief!
X is causing me grief today!
I am dead worried
Mmm I stopped in my tracks a little and wondered why people use such phrases – I mean to me grief can never be good, and can you really say a problem in life is like grief? Maybe it is just the thought of a bereaved person but it made me think where do these phrases come from – does anyone know? I am off to Google to see if I can find an answer….
Also …read more

I was speaking to someone on the bus today and she asked if there was a reason for my broken heart….
I was shocked and said “How do you know that?”
She smiled and said “You are staring, looking lost and fiddling with your ring…a true sign of a broken heart?”
Made me think of other ways people can tell you are bereaved, some I have to say a little tongue in cheek…

We hate filling forms out, as we don’t want to tick our marital status.
We keep looking at our watches IF we ever go to a social gathering, trying to sense when …read more

Just replied to an invitation which asked are you a one or a two? It made me feel sad. Clearly the invitation was not written by a widow or widower, as numbers to people not bereaved, are maybe just numbers…..but to those grieving numbers mean a little more. Just jotted on a piece of paper, whilst I watched the kettle boil, a few lines…..maybe you understand my feelings?  
I started life just as a one,
Part of a family but still just a single… one.
Then I met you and one became two
But now you are gone, what do I do?
I …read more

We often regret what we didn’t say to our loved ones when we are bereaved. I was reading about a new book called P.S.I Miss You which is described as “a powerful new book has been published that is giving families a much-needed venue to express their grief over the love ones they lost tragically.”
One of the bereaved says
“This book is full of the things we want to say but don’t have the opportunity,” said Moneca Melan, Melissa’s mother. “Some people say it’s really sad, but it’s an expression of grief that is really powerful.”
I agree that it is expressing …read more

I find comfort in poems and in music. I came across this at a grief poem website and wanted to share it with any of you who have just lost a loved one, as I found comfort in the words
Always Near as You Walk Along the Lakeshore
And I am no longer with you
Let no tears fall or sorrow prevail
When you see your reflection shimmer in the water
Smile and know that I see your smile
When you feel the cool grass beneath your feet
And the sun’s …read more

If you need inspiration to beat that feeling of depression then here is some recent research to help move you through the grief cycle. You all know that I believe we as widows or widowers need to go through the grief cycle but often it can be easy to become stuck..just not believing that you can cope with life on your own. This research shows how important it is that we keep moving through that grief cycle, working honestly with our feelings to move to a happier place.
“Strong feelings of grief are normal and healthy after the death of …read more