Our brains are at the heart of who we are as human beings. I have had a fascination with how the brain works and how you can maintain a healthy ‘brain’ since my Dad died of dementia. It was the most awful sight…this proud man disintegrating in front of our eyes…this man who was incredibly intelligent not even being able to function at all without help.
Gosh even writing about it brings a lump to my throat. I idolised Dad and it still hurts that I could not stop that happening to him.
Anyway, (Anna pulls herself together!) I recorded an audio …read more

I was wondering about heartache, and wondering if people can die from a broken heart. When I googled the idea, I came across this great article on emotional pain at the BBC website. I want to pick out a few ideas from the article

“Simultaneous brain scanning revealed that the pain of being socially rejected was processed in much the same way in the brain as physical pain.” 
“Physical pain warns us not to do something, walk on a broken ankle for instance. And emotional pain too can be a warning – “don’t go near that sort of man again”, “avoid …read more

Sometimes I wonder when we put on the stoical face, when we smile when we are crying inside, when we say we are fine when we really want to say we feel awful – all in the name of making the other people feel better – is it OK that we are being two faced to ourselves?
Why I wonder is I can see why it is important to say all the words above

People get tired of us talking about our grief.
Depression is contagious and people try to avoid someone who is draining their energy.
To help ourselves – the more we …read more

Yesterday I was determined not to feel sorry for myself, not to give in to those weekend feelings when I feel lonely and when my feelings seem out of control.
So I volunteered to help my best friend in her garden. Gosh it was hard work and after hours of weeding, digging, mowing, and clearing I felt great…why? Well, it is amazing how physical work gets the right positive chemicals flowing through your brain.
I have never really liked gardening and I think it helps it was not something we would have done together…it didn’t bring back old painful memories, it created …read more

I try and go to the gym most days as a way of getting all those positive emotions to flow through this brain of mine! Today my legs were tired, really tired….the muscles were aching and they had no energy. Did I listen ? Of course not and off I went to the gym…after a few moments I realised that I had pulled a muscle
That made me think. The heart is a muscle, it aches when it is tired, it aches when it needs rest time. When we are grieving we are putting so much stress on our …read more

I wrote yesterday about my isolated feeling over the weekend. I have thought about it overnight and here are my reflections

When you are grieving you shut down your emotions to protect yourself. Maybe what I am feeling is the “numbness” associated with my heart still not being ready to emotionally join the world as yet.
It is OK! My body, my heart has been through shock and an immense amount of pain. I am not ‘weird’, I am completely normal!
It takes time to rejoin the world. When I think how far I have come, I have come a   long way….there …read more

I found a site called undoingdepression which has these 6 steps that I thought I would share, I don’t know about you but the more I read the more it inspires me to succeed!
• Get help. Don’t be ashamed of needing medication, and don’t give up until you find something that helps.  
• Identify your feelings and moods. Depression is a self-destructive effort to avoid feeling. Accept that emotions are natural and helpful. …read more

Easy – one step at a time. Remember when you were a baby, or last watched a baby starting to walk? They stand, they fall,   they stand, they stumble, they stand a little longer, they fall, they repeat until they can walk confidently on their own. For me grief is like that, you move forward you stumble, you get up, you drop down……and the process will always be easier if you allow people to hold your hand for support.
I think we can be too tough on ourselves, we expect to cope from Day 1 and when you think about …read more

At the start of the year I told you that I wanted to lose weight, to regain my self confidence and self esteem. I started a blog and a podcast to track my progress called Middle Age Shed and I am really pleased to report that I am on track to have lost 42lbs by this weekend.
I am feeling much more confident about going out, happier that I have taken control of my weight gain and supported through a fantastic community of people who comment regularly.
Losing weight does not take pain away, does not stop the loneliness however it do  …read more

One of my favourite newsletters that I get is from Lou Tice.
Over the weekend he talked about reality – here is a snippet
“you and I are always creating our own reality. The way we see things depends not only on our physical makeup but also on the psychological filters we look through. One of the most powerful filters, that directly affects how we see the world, is our self-esteem. Yes, it seems like the term has been overworked of late, but warranted self-esteem is still an important part of our psychological make up.
Low self-esteem creates a world in which the …read more