Dear my beating heart,
I just want to say as we close the year out, I so value your strength, I so value the way that you have carried me through the hard times – through the grief, through my loss, through my sorrow. Many days I have not felt like smiling, I have not felt even like breathing…yet you have seen me through. You keep beating each day and each day that heartbeat you make, makes me stronger.
I know that I need to think about you in the future, I know you need me to open up and allow you …read more

Broken hearts are fragile, they have scars just like the cracks in a broken vase. When that vase breaks you can put it back together, you can glue the pieces…there will always be a thin crack that is visible to the world. However, that vase can still be beautiful, can still be precious. You learn to turn the vase so that people don’t see the break.
Broken hearts are just the same. There will always be the memory, however you can put your heart back together, through the glue of family, friends and a little self belief. A broken heart doesn’t …read more

My friend phoned today, to say that her mother had passed away. Elsie was 88 years old and died peacefully. She was a wonderful lady who always had time for people, and wore an ever present sincere smile. The world will be poorer for Elsie dying but has been enriched by her life.
My love goes out to all her family and Elsie would be very proud of the dignity with which they have coped. Losing anyone is painful, no matter the age…..but losing a smile that used to make the world shine will mean one thing – we will all have …read more

I was speaking to my aunt last night and she was so excited because her son had just received a doctorate. Her voice was sad and happy, because her husband died about 7 years ago and she was upset that he was not here to feel the pride that she was feeling. I asked her “How she coping with the mixed emotions?”
She said she was going to his grave today and was going to talk to him, fill him in on what his son had achieved. She said that although he wasn’t still alive, it didn’t mean she couldn’t talk …read more

The post yesterday about the letter I received from Joan really has brought some great comments, have a read if you are feeling down today. The essence of the responses are that no matter how deep you depressions, no matter how much grief has taken hold, there is hope. If an 87 year old can turn their life around and set new targets after turning to drink to try and die to go to her loved one, then surely we can. Here are 4 reasons that Joan gives me HOPE.
H= Have a list of 3 things that you want to …read more

I received this e-mail and it really did brighten my day, I hope it brightens yours and gives you hope.
“I am 87 years old and have been a widow for 8 months. I had been married for 66 years and know the true feeling of love. When he died I started to drink, at first to get to sleep and then more in the hope that I didn’t wake up. I just wanted to go to him, I couldn’t bare to be apart. Other than the war we had never spent a night apart and I could not face life …read more

A friend of a friend lost her husband a couple of years ago, and one regret was that she had delayed having a child thinking that there would be plenty of time. She decided that this regret was gnawing away at her and that she had to do something to stop the hurt.
So this Christmas she sponsored a child in Africa which I thought was a great way to ease the pain. She said “Now I have the pleassure off seeing happiness in the eyes of another via letters, and I know my husband would have loved it as our …read more

For regular readers of my personal journey through my grief on Widows Quest, you can now find out more about me and also join a community. Just click here and you can post a photo either of you or of your loved one that we can all see.

A new year starts and it is a chance to set some targets for achieving a level of happiness. Here are mine

To keep writing the blog and supporting others through the grief cycle. Together you achieve more.
To launch a podcast of stories that the readers of this blog share to help others to get through their bereavement. I think by sharing our stories we help each other to come to terms with loss and understand that we are not alone.
To be positive, and before I go to bed each night I will write down something that I have done to show …read more

In the UK there was a helicopter crash this week which was returning fathers home to their children for Christmas. How heartbreaking the story is, with children waiting for Dad to come home so they could celebrate Christmas…my heart goes out to the families. One quote referred to 2 boys who ” broke their hearts”
 I want to send out personal wishes to the families and also to anyone else who lost someone dear to over the last few days. It is hard enough losing someone, but during the holiday season it can be harder. One blessing is that hopefully there …read more