I just want to say as we close the year out, I so value your strength, I so value the way that you have carried me through the hard times – through the grief, through my loss, through my sorrow. Many days I have not felt like smiling, I have not felt even like breathing…yet you have seen me through. You keep beating each day and each day that heartbeat you make, makes me stronger.

I know that I need to think about you in the future, I know you need me to open up and allow you to love again and I will….just give me some time, as I am just not ready yet but I know you deserve that love and one day when I least

expect it, love will come through the door.

At this holiday time, you have been my best friend and I thank you for never giving up and feeding life to this grieving body….

Yours always

A xx

Post from: Widows Quest

Broken hearts are just the same. There will always be the memory, however you can put your heart back together, through the glue of family, friends and a little self belief. A broken heart doesn’t mean that you can never love again, it just means that you need to learn to live with that breaking heart. To learn over time to move that crack from the front of your mind to the back of your mind – it is still there, just managed.

Broken hearts are an outcome of grief, of loving and losing…..they are a sign of something very special that has happened in our lives….this blog is hopefully part of that glue that will mend that break

 {photo from istockphoto}

Post from: Widows Quest

My love goes out to all her family and Elsie would be very proud of the dignity with which they have coped. Losing anyone is painful, no matter the age…..but losing a smile that used to make the world shine will mean one thing – we will all have to smile a little more to make up the difference!

Post from: Widows Quest

She said she was going to his grave today and was going to talk to him, fill him in on what his son had achieved. She said that although he wasn’t still alive, it didn’t mean she couldn’t talk to him. My heart went out to her in one sense, and in another slightly envious that she had found a way of comfort for herself. How do you cope?

Post from: Widows Quest

H= Have a list of 3 things that you want to achieve, your dreams and spend time planning how you will make them reality.

O= Offer help to others. Supporting others helps you see that you are not alone.

P= Put time into learning about how to turn your life around. I post every sunday some of the best tips from other bloggers as a way of helping you through your grief. Watch out for the one tonight!

E= Ensure that you socialise with family and friends.

Post from: Widows Quest

“I am 87 years old and have been a widow for 8 months. I had been married for 66 years and know the true feeling of love. When he died I started to drink, at first to get to sleep and then more in the hope that I didn’t wake up. I just wanted to go to him, I couldn’t bare to be apart. Other than the war we had never spent a night apart and I could not face life without him. My great grandchildren who I love very much came to visit a few months ago, and for my birthday bought me a computer. I mean me a computer for a 87! But it has opened up a whole new world to me. I have been reading a Widows Quest for a few weeks and it has helped me understand that no matter what age you are, loss is loss. Age is not the reason for wanting to give up, it is the pain that you feel all through your body.

Through reading your writing it has taught me that despite my age, I owe it to myself, my family and my dear Tom’s memory to overcome this depression. I am fit, and I still have things that I dream of doing. I would never have dreamed of learning about blogs, the internet a few months ago and now I feel I have friends all over the world.

My advice that I wanted to share is this. Life is special, a gift from God and we – no matter our age – should value it. We valued the life of the person we lost, so why not value our own. I have taken your advice of writing 3 dreams that I want to come true including visiting my grandchildren in South Africa. I have booked the tickets and although a few people think that it is too much at my age, I have said “You are never too old to live your dream”.

Thank you for sharing the pain that you are feeling and please know that pain never goes away but you can balance it by doing things that make you happy.”

Wow, Joan from Toronto has really made me think. 87 and exploring new countries and learning new skills! I don’t know about you, but I feel that is Joan can, I can. Thank you for such an inspiring story.

Post from: Widows Quest

So this Christmas she sponsored a child in Africa which I thought was a great way to ease the pain. She said “Now I have the pleassure off seeing happiness in the eyes of another via letters, and I know my husband would have loved it as our honeymoon was in Kenya”

Great positive action to heal pain, and to help others while you grieve.

Post from: Widows Quest

Post from: Widows Quest

• To keep writing the blog and supporting others through the grief cycle. Together you achieve more.
• To launch a podcast of stories that the readers of this blog share to help others to get through their bereavement. I think by sharing our stories we help each other to come to terms with loss and understand that we are not alone.
• To be positive, and before I go to bed each night I will write down something that I have done to show that I am moving forward no matter how much I hurt.
• To address my weight gain and get myself back in shape, to help my self-esteem.
• To think of a way of honouring his memory this year, in a way that he would want.

Have you set some targets for yourself to try and move forward this year? Share them with me, sharing helps make them real and helps you commit to achieving them.

Post from: Widows Quest

 I want to send out personal wishes to the families and also to anyone else who lost someone dear to over the last few days. It is hard enough losing someone, but during the holiday season it can be harder. One blessing is that hopefully there are family and friends around to support you all, and make sure you lean on them, don’t be proud….let them be your crutches for your broken heart.

Post from: Widows Quest