A broken heart hurts as we all know, but a study by Dr Mark Porter shows that if we are not careful then grief can affect our health. In a survey, he found
“When compared with a controlled group of people who hadn’t lost anyone close to them, the bereaved showed significant increases in blood pressure, pulse rate and changes to their immune and clotting systems, which made their blood stickier and a heart attack more likely. The changes were most marked during the first six months after bereavement and have been pounced on by the …read more

I was speaking to someone on the bus today and she asked if there was a reason for my broken heart….
I was shocked and said “How do you know that?”
She smiled and said “You are staring, looking lost and fiddling with your ring…a true sign of a broken heart?”
Made me think of other ways people can tell you are bereaved, some I have to say a little tongue in cheek…

We hate filling forms out, as we don’t want to tick our marital status.
We keep looking at our watches IF we ever go to a social gathering, trying to sense when …read more

 I wrote a post called Finding Your Strengths for a New Life and received a heart tugging comment from a recent widow here is a snippet
“I really do miss my dearest husband and I instantly start to cry when I look at our pictures. This has not been happening lately, but today I feel down and am in need of finding someone to talk to. My mother is around, but she seems to become worse if I open up for her.
So I really don’t know what to do….”

I know we all know that feeling, I know that none of …read more

I received a wonderful email from one of the Widows Quest readers who has written this poem about her grief – she would love to turn it into a song so she is starting to learn the piano to put it to music. I love sharing our thoughts so if you have something you want to share then email me at anna@b5media.com.
For Michael
My baby died last Thursday.
I don’t know what to do
My heart is lost and lonely
It doesn’t have a clue.
Oh, where are you baby?
Are you missing me, too?
Are you lost inside my dreams now
With my memories and blues?
I look …read more

Broken hearts are fragile, they have scars just like the cracks in a broken vase. When that vase breaks you can put it back together, you can glue the pieces…there will always be a thin crack that is visible to the world. However, that vase can still be beautiful, can still be precious. You learn to turn the vase so that people don’t see the break.
Broken hearts are just the same. There will always be the memory, however you can put your heart back together, through the glue of family, friends and a little self belief. A broken heart doesn’t …read more

Tonight I am going to my mum’s and then tomorrow we are setting off to visit my aunt who lives at the opposite end of the country. Both mum and my aunt have lost their husbands, and both are trying to rebuild their lives.
Despite my 41 years of age, I am still the ‘baby’ of the family and love the fact that by creating time   in my life to spend time with others….actually brings joy to them. When we are feeling down it is easy to forget how we do create happiness in the lives of others……a joy of …read more

When change happens in your life, when you are faced with grief, faced with depression, faced with loneliness…remember this line from the book, “The Psychology of Romantic Love,” Nathaniel Brandon wrote, “The first affair we must consummate successfully is the love affair with ourselves. Only then are we ready for other love relationships.”
The author Nathaniel Brandon was right – we need to be able to love ourselves, we need to be able to accept our flaws and enjoy our strengths. We can often feel alone, worthless but we are not either of those two things..we have value to bring to …read more

I have been working hard, sometime I think to avoid feeling. I haven’t had a full day off for 21 months. It hasn’t bothered me, because by working I have kept my mind busy. But just recently I have been feeling so low on energy, not depressed more than usua, but feeling as though someone has pinched one of my two batteries!
My friend came round today, she looked at me and said “You need a holiday” She is right, sometimes you have to just allow your body to recover, allow your batteries to recharge. Do I fear stopping work will …read more

I will continue to hope
I will continue to love
I will continue to believe
I will continue to hurt  
I will continue to survive
I will continue to be the person he fell in love with….

It has been raining today and as I look out of the window I can see a beautiful rainbow. It made me think….
The rain is like our grief. Our tears flow and flow, our outlook feels dark with no sign of relief.
The rainbow is like our journey. It is a bridge to the future. The grief has caused us to change, it has brought out different emotions, different experiences that has caused us to grow as a human being, just like the array of colours in the sky.
The pot of gold is like our hope. We hope that with time …read more