My friend has been a widow for just over a year. I was around at their house when I was talking to her 5 year old about how the family was feeling.
He turned and said in a very adult voice (!)
“As I see it when I trapped my finger in the kitchen cupboard in hurt a lot for a while. Mum put a plaster on and I tried not to use it till it stopped hurting. Losing Daddy is like that”
He then walked to the kitchen and came back with a plaster on his chest.
“That feels better now people know …read more

Having lost someone we know how much pain there is in the world and how awful life events can be..but if we look hard there are beautiful things that make life so special

The smile of a baby
The laughter of friends and family
The feel of an early morning hot shower
The look in the eyes of a young couple in love for the first time  
The sound of a river
The smell of an Autumn day
The serene sight of a child sleeping
The dawn of a new day
 The smell of fresh flowers
The memories when you look at those old photo’s

Death may bring some dark …read more

Ever wondered why you feel better from a hug…ever felt how you miss the hug of your loved one….how death has stripped you of a wonderfully uplifting hug?
Well I was reading this article produced by The Pacific Institute which says
“… demonstrated love and affection is important to our mental and physical health at every age. Did you know that our actual body chemistry changes when we are physically close to another? It is true. Many studies have now conclusively   demonstrated that touch, especially caring touch, can boost the strength of our immune system, increase the oxygen carrying hemoglobin in …read more

So often we try and shield children from the grief, from the pain of losing someone close. I found the approach of a  Scottish husband  so refreshing as detailed at the Scotsman.com 
“I basically told them two things – that mummy died because her body had stopped working; and that it was not their fault, my fault or mummy’s fault,” recalls Klaus.
“They then went to see Brigid in the room where she died. I know there’s a big taboo about that sort of thing but I thought it would help them to see her and I thought it was right to …read more

I just read this article on how a child has written a book on her grief to help others. How inspiring, especially this phrase “If it only touches one life, I’ll be happy,”. Haley O’Hayer wrote a children’s book called “Wings,” a tale about a butterfly named Joey, who has lots of friends, and one day is killed by a jealous bee. His family and friends deal with Joey’s death with the help of a white dove. For Haley, fantasy and reality have mixed. Five years ago, Haley’s older brother, Thomas O’Hayer, 21-years-old, was killed in his home on Cindy …read more

I cam across the Dougy Center which helps children come to terms with grief. I particularly like their advice when it came to supporting children
“ Listen.
After a death, many children want to share their story. They may want to tell you what happened, where they were when they were told about the death, and what it was like for them. Telling their story is a healing experience. One of the best ways adults can help young grievers is to listen to their stories“
I believe that listening is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to people – as …read more

I have just posted about recording your grief cycle to an audio file, but it also gave me some other ideas that I wish I had thought of earlier…

Why not record memories of your life together for your children to keep on CD.
Why not record your last few weeks together if you know they are dying, as a reminder of their voice.
Why not tell your lifestory as a memorial to you
Why not tell your loved one’s life story before people forget
Why not record a message to put in the coffin

Just some ideas that I thought may help….anyone got any other …read more

Welcome to the January 21, 2007 edition of positive thinking.
Mary Deyo presents Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life posted at Dr. Deyo Wants You To Be Happy.
Heather writes Positive Thinking posted at Middle Age Shed
Ellesse presents Now You Can Write SMART Goals That Work! posted at Goal Setting College.
Anna presents Would you let your money lost interest? posted at The Engaging Brand
Fred fullerberry presents Who to Compare Yourself With posted at FredFullerberry.com, saying, “This a simple lesson I garnered from mom. The meat of it is a powerful tool for personal change.”
Chris presents How to be Cooler | How to …read more

I got a lovely e-mail from Jeff who pointed me to iMemory which I have have had a look at and it seems a wonderful way of capturing a memorial to someone who has died. I love the website and loved the phrase “Every life is a story waiting to be told”
We are characters in this wonderful story called life, and characters may come and go but the story continues.

Welcome to the January 7, 2007 edition of positive thinking, my goal is to try and give you some great articles each Sunday to help you face the week and cope with the grief….I think these should be a great comfort to you. 
Maria Yu presents Where Do You Want to Go? posted at Life.
Anna presents How some people inspire you at The Engaging Brand.
Josh Bickford presents The World Is Bad, Why Bother? posted at Josh Bickford’s Reach For Magnificence, saying, “The world needs people that see the good in things, and improve themselves in order to improve the life of …read more