I went down stairs and figured there were many rays of hopes for all of us widows and widowers, here are some I jotted down

• The smile that I made when I saw a young couple very much in love on the bus…
• The laughter that I heard around the table at Christmas
• My laughter that showed I was capable of enjoying others company without feeling guilty.
• The hour when I was talking to friends over Christmas when I didn’t think about the grief
• The holding of my hand by my Nana who has survived 15 years without her rock.
• The slight twinkle in my eye when a young man smiled at me the other day. OK I ran off in the opposite direction but I enjoyed the feeling in the moment….

In your darkness, remember the ray of hopes that sprinkle your life and learn to value them strongly to help guide you through the darkness.

Post from: Widows Quest

A day when familys gather and smiles fill the air

Oh, 7 hours and 23 minutes until I wake

And realise once again, YOU my soulmate, are not there

But fear not world I will put on the paint

And sense your warmth from up above

Which will get me through the day, a day of loss

Through the one thing you gave me, they could not take away….

…Your love.

Happy Christmas, love you as much today as when you went away….

Post from: Widows Quest

The holiday season is normally a tough time with many memories however this year I have found a new way of coping with grief – be ill and worry about your health!

I would like to thank everyone for the wonderful thoughts they sent me, I am sure everything will be fine   after next week…in the meantime I hope that you are coping well and whether I am blogging or not – I am thinking about you.

Post from: Widows Quest

 I want to send out personal wishes to the families and also to anyone else who lost someone dear to over the last few days. It is hard enough losing someone, but during the holiday season it can be harder. One blessing is that hopefully there are family and friends around to support you all, and make sure you lean on them, don’t be proud….let them be your crutches for your broken heart.

Post from: Widows Quest

When you have suffered grief, you know the pain…..look out for the symptons and reach a hand out to them…in helping others you help yourself.

Post from: Widows Quest

I read of a man, who stood to speak at the funeral for a friend;
he referred to the dates on her tombstone from beginning to end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the second with tears
but he said that what mattered most of all, was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth,
and now only those who loved her know what that little line was worth.

For it matters not how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash
what matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard, are there things you’d like to change?
for you never know how much time is left (you could be at “dash mid-range”)

If we just slow down enough to consider what is true and real,
and always try to understand the way other people feel

And be less quick to anger show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile
remembering that this special dash, might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash;
would you be pleased with the things they have to say about how you spent your dash?

By: Linda Ellis

Post from: Widows Quest

Resolve that you have faced up to the grief, faced up to the loss. You have survived, you are still hurting but YOU have coped. Your life is still “alive” and think about 5 things that you want to do, achieve, enjoy in the next 12 months…resolve to do them in the next year. Your loved one would not want you to give up, they would want you to carry on living and find happiness….write down 5 dreams and make them reality. 

Explore how you have changed. Grief changes your outlook on life, and makes you take stock. You will have grown as a person due to the emotional rollercoaster that you have been through. Think about how you have changed and how that will change your future thinking.

Find your photographs and remember the great times, the happiness that love had brought you. Those memories should never be forgotton even if they make you cry, the tears are an emotional release for your heart.

Letting go. At some point and as hard as it is, you have to let go of the death at some point. You don’t let go of the love or the memories but you need to let go of the event….it won’t change, you cannot bring them back…let go to allow yourself to cope.

Expression. In the modern world sometimes we are rushing around so much that we forget to tell our loved ones how much we love them, how much we care…..think about how you can change this and free up your emotions in the future.

Celebrate how you have coped, how you have surprised yourself, how you have hurt, cried but you have survived one day at a time.

Take time to set some goals of how you will change the time you spend on relationships in the future, love is precious and can be taken from us far too quickly. Losing someone makes you realise that you need to invest time now so that you never regret in the future….

Post from: Widows Quest

Post from: Widows Quest

Post from: Widows Quest

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me and I’m not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry, the way you did today
While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And every time you think of me I know you’ll miss me too

But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand
That an Angel came and called my name an took me by my hand

And said my place is ready in heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love

But as I turned to walk away a tear fell from my eye
For all my life I’d always thought I didn’t want to die

I had so much to live for, so much yet to do
It seamed almost impossible that I was leaving you

So when tomorrow starts without me don’t think we’re far apart
For every time you think of me I’m right here in your heart.

Wonderful…thank you Tiffany.

Post from: Widows Quest