Widows Quest » coping-with-grief

Widows Quest Support Group Meeting

Anna Farmery — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 08:22:43 +0000

Over the last few months we have arranged times when we can get together just to talk through how we are feeling, how we are coping with grief…how to cope. The online meetings have been great and so uplifiting. Please remember

There is no charge….it is a group of widows and widowers who just want to cope with life..and death.
The meetings are held on the web so doesn’t matter where you live
No telephone call – just visit the site and you can hear people speak. If you want to speak then you will need a microphone but you can just listen
To register for the details visit the Widows Wetpaint account I have suggested some times and days in August and if you could leave your name under the times you could make…then we will go with the most popular.

As a widow you often feel as though people don’t fully understand, you can feel that friends are tired of hearing your emotions…that is why this meeting is great. Hope to hear you there!

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How to Be Yourself

Anna Farmery — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:39:43 +0000

In coping with grief – does anyone forget about who you really are?

I know that in so many ways I had defined myself by my relationship, so much so that I now struggle with knowing who I am. Funny really because my partner was someone who wasn’t controlling, he actually encouraged my independence.

I wonder whether my struggle to know who I am, is less about reality but more in my own perception? I feel loss, and loss in its own definition means something missing. Therefore I feel that something is missing in me. In reality though I am still me, I am still the person I have always been….it is the relationship, the person that I love that is missing.

So I feel part of grief is actually realising that you are still you, that you existed before falling in love and you exist after you have lost your love partner.

I think we need to distinguish the love we felt…that we feel even now…from who we are as a person. We need to trust in us, we need to trust in our personal qualities to deal with what life throws at us.

It is not about finding me again, it is about realising that ‘me’ still exists and always has done.

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Carnival of Positive Thinking

Anna Farmery — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:27:39 +0000

Each Sunday I post articles which will help with our depression and get us thinking more positively. Enjoy

Snowden presents Inspiration for Women: Timer Tools for Productivity posted at Inspiration for women., saying, “A blog about a free timer and how you can use it to increase your personal productivity and improve your life.”

Frankie Minus Johnny presents Self-Hate posted at Frankie Minus Johnny, saying, “Setting realistic expectations grounded in truth may not instantly transform me into a superstar, but it will help increase my self-love and decrease my self-hate.”

Aparna presents Who is a free person? posted at Beauty and Personality Grooming.

Allen Scott presents Failure Proof posted at Journey Across the Sky, saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words so the saying goes. Add to that picture a few words of hope and you just might have a winning post. Check it out!”

Margaret Garcia presents Napping Power – How a Snooze Can Do You Good posted at Earn LPN Degree Online.

christopher foster presents The joy that waits on the other side of disillusionment posted at thehappyseeker.com

Dr. Alan Singer presents FamilyThinking.com with Dr. Alan Singer: Some Discover Greater Joy in Coping with Great Grief by Dr. Alan Singer posted at FamilyThinking.com, saying, “Here is my blog post about 2 fathers that i know who suffered the unspeakable tragedy of having a child murdered. In each case, these men did not swear to avenge the death. Rather they sought to make the world a better place and established worthy organizations that help our fellow human beings.”

Susan White presents 100 Free Quizzes for Your Self-Improvement and Awareness posted at Online College Reviews – College Ratings.

Robert Logan presents The Most Important Positive Relationship posted at Emphasizing the positive. Minimizing the negative..

Brain Blogger presents
>Prevention of Adolescent Depression posted at Brain Blogger, saying, “Children and adolescents of depressed parents are four to six times more likely to develop depressive symptoms themselves than children of non-depressed parents. This translates to approximately 61% of children of parents with depression developing a psychiatric disorder during their life.”

Paula Kawal presents Valuing Your Intuition posted at Journey Inward Productions, saying, “Have you ever found yourself in the completely unexpected situation of realizing that being aware of our intuition and being compelled to act upon it can be two different things? Awareness for some is enough to change behavior but for others something more is needed…as many people are aware of their intuitive responses and are still unable to follow them.”

Health Fitness How To presents
>Yoga is a Great Way to Get Fit and Healthy posted at Health Fitness Article Directory, saying, “Besides, walking, the oldest and most effective form of exercise one can do is Yoga. Yoga involves the whole person–body, mind and spirit.”

ChristianPF presents Sowing and Reaping posted at Money in the Bible | Christian Personal Finance Blog, saying, “Proof that what goes around, comes around…”

Susan McCabe presents Unconditional Joy posted at Joy of Living, saying, “Unconditional Joy is the path to healing and all things wanted.”

Christopher X. Gerber presents Fixing Depression posted at Experiment: Gerbus, saying, “Cognitive Therapy, Depression and the power to change for the better.”

Taylor Coburn presents Breaking the Habit posted at Motivia, saying, “You can experience extraordinary results when you change your strategies.”

Lissa Jannini presents Let Go And Soar posted at Break Your Shackles.

Erin Pavlina presents Going Up a Level in Courage posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, or are a regular reader of my blog, you may have noticed that I sometimes make comedic references to my dislike of public speaking.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our carnival submission form.

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The Grief Balloon

Anna Farmery — Thu, 14 May 2009 18:31:26 +0000

My friend is a widow who has 3 small children and I often write about how much I learn from them…yesterday yet again they showed me a wonderful way of coping with grief.

When I went around the eldest boy was blowing up balloons, after blowing up about 6 in a row he then painstakingly tied ribbon to them….he then gathered them up and asked us to go into the garden. He smiled as he let each one fly away in the wind.

I asked him what the balloons were for and he said “His mum had given him a pack of balloons so that when he felt sad, when he missed his Dad so much, when he wanted help to cope…then he could blow his worries into the balloon. He could then send the worries away and his Dad would deal with them for him…you see his Dad was still there for his son.”

Wow…I never fail to be stunned by the innocence and wonder of children

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Widows Online Support Group

Anna Farmery — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:32:41 +0000

Widows Quest has become more than a blog it has become a community for friends who are coping with grief. If you feel low, or in need of speaking to people who understand bereavement then just register your name over at the Widows Quest wiki and I will send you the log in details. I have asked on the site about availability on 4th, 5th or 6th June…would be great to see you there.

It was wonderful to hear peoples voices for our first get together in May – for those of you who didn’t join in, all you need is a computer (a microphone is good so we can hear you but you can type or just listen if you would like), it really is wonderful talking and listening to other widows. For those of you wondering ….it is free!

Wonder if people would like to suggest a topic or whether people would like just to talk…..

Post from: Widows Quest

Happiness, Sadness and Hope in Grief

Anna Farmery — Sat, 02 May 2009 18:13:11 +0000

Widows Quest had its first get together last night. We used Gotomeeing which mean that we all logged on to a website and we could all hear each other and talk to each other (Well almost Leslie!)

It was wonderful and my only hope is that we have more people join us next month…as just being together for an hour so helped me so much. Hearing others talking about coping with grief, knowing they truly understood the pain, feeling the love and support was fantastic! We plan another event at the beginning of June so watch out for details.

But I want to reach a Widows Quest hug out to Mary today who is bravely facing he wonderful husbands birthday today and Leslie who said today she is walking for her husbands cause. I wondered what a hug would be like, I think it would be

H = Hoping that you get the chance today to celebrate the life as feel the pain of the loss

U = Understand you are not alone, each one of us sends their love and are thinking about you

G = Grieving never means you lose the loss, but friendship means that you learn to cope….here is our friendship given

willingly!

A HUG a day will keep the depression at bay!

[istockphoto]

Post from: Widows Quest

The Heart of the Conversation

Anna Farmery — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:00:10 +0000

I am excited by our planned phone call on Friday night – 6pm New York time and of course if any other widows and widowers want to join us and talk about how they are coping with grief, about the blog posts which help most with your bereavement or just for support and friendship – then the details are on our Widows Wiki.

Why am I excited?

Because I know you all understand grief, I know that we have shared hopes, shared pains, that we are sharing each others journey through that dark tunnel of pain to that day when we wake up and feel happiness again.

It does make you think about the power of sharing. Yet when you suffer death, you seem to not want to share….for me I think it was a reaction to sharing my love and then that being lost. You don’t want to share because you don’t feel people will understand….well not Friday, we will all understand and that is why I cannot wait to hear the voices of the Widows Quest Community.

[istockphoto]

Post from: Widows Quest

Do You Seek Loneliness or Enjoy Solitude?

Anna Farmery — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:00:25 +0000

I was reading about Jack Tweed who is the husband of reality TV star Jade Goody who at the age of 27 lost her fight against cancer this week. According to reports he is struggling to be alone in his grief.

There is a fine line between enjoying solitude and feeling the depth of loneliness.I know the importance of checking whether you are using the solitude to hide from life, to hide from the hurt of grief. I know how sometimes it is easier to dissolve into a world of solitude…rather than having to join the world again. But beware that the solitude can become loneliness and loneliness can become depression…..

I have always been the kind of person who is happy to be alone. I have never been lonely when I am alone. In fact I feel in grief I am lonelier when I am in a crowd – because that is when I miss him the most.

Yet other people cannot stand being alone in their grief. This just shows how different we all are and how coping with grief is personal to us all.

Are you a person who seeks solitude or someone who fights off loneliness?

[istockphoto]

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Carnival of Positive Thinking

Anna Farmery — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:20:14 +0000

As widows or widowers we all need a little help in coping with our grief and also finding a way of through the bereavement and back to a life that brings you joy and happiness. Here are this weeks articles to help us through the grief process

Nancy Miller presents Just Relax! 77 Easy, Painless Tips to Focus & Invite Tranquility In posted at Nursing Assistant Guides.

VYe presents Is Dream Life Achievable? posted at Sit Down Life, saying, “This post is inspired by a real life experience, as a matter of fact most of my posts are. This post is about achieving dreams”

VYe presents Dream Life – An Achievable Goal posted at Sit Down Life, saying, “All of us have dreams. Few have a dream car, dream girl, dream lifestyle, dream job, etc. Although all of us have these wonderful things in our head, very few proceed and achieve their dream.”

ananga presents Shifting Focus: Making Choices in Where You Spend Your Energy posted at Ananga’s Living by Design Blog.

Kerry presents What affect do our Thoughts, have on Our Health, Our Relationship and Our Environment? posted at Ancient Wisdom Modern Mind.

c.camino presents Science confirms the power of Positive thinking! posted at Spirit Happy, saying, “Amazing power that we possess..if we use it!”

Karina Harris presents How to Conquer a Case of the Mondays posted at Mind Your Own Business Girls Blog.

GP presents When Life gives you Lemons « Manely Montana posted at Manely Montana, saying, “Making lemons out of lemonade”

Carole Gold presents A Guide To The Unknown posted at Carole Gold, saying, “Thinking and feeling these times are difficult? What if they are filled with adventure and possibility. A guide to successfully traveling the unknown road.”

Ryan Taft presents T.I. Impossible is Nothing | Society is Deaf posted at Society is Deaf, saying, “Don’t forget that impossible is nothin’, your environment is irrelevant Just don’t let your emotions over power your intelligence Refuse to give up, your mistakes don’t define you they dont dictate where you headin’, they remind you That time keeps tickin’, let your mind keep clickin’ Never stop thinkin’, be aware of your decision and beware of the collisions And the potholes hidden in the road that you travel on your lifelong mission Just listen everyday like a snap shot is taken, if you live you could learn if you just be patient”

Wally Bock presents Staying committed to your commitment posted at Momentor.

Burak Bilgin presents How to Write Your Personal History posted at Distiller’s Corner, saying, “Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography? This article might help you doing it.”

Chris Edgar presents Inner Productivity, Part III: Listening To Ourselves posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “In this post, I’ll talk about a new perspective we can take on the thoughts and feelings that tend to disrupt our work. As I say here, we can actually learn to see them as a form of valuable inner wisdom.”

Piotr Stepien presents Propel Human Evolution In Those Three Vital Ways posted at we overstep, saying, “Discover top three ways to boost enormously the evolution of the human kind. Right now nearly all people do the exact opposite which is stopping us in progress. Do you want to know what is stopping us and how to go beyond that? Are you ready for the answers? Here they are in order of importance…”

Isaac Yassar presents How To Realize Happiness posted at Isaac Yassar’s Overture, saying, “People seek happiness. That is the reason of their studying and working, improving their personal quality to achieve success. The question is what will happen after we reach success. Probably the answer is getting piles of money and massive personal consciousness, the mediums to reach happiness. At least that is what most people think. Is that true?”

Kakie presents Is your home a soft place to land? posted at Bur Bur & Friends: Community Park, saying, “Creating a safe atmosphere at home where kids can learn from there mistakes starts at home. Here is how one mother took what could have been a negative situation and turned it into something positive.”

VYe presents Problem is nothing but a state of mind posted at Sit Down Life, saying, “he whole point is – Problem is nothing but a state of mind. It is a condition, when brain is agitated and sends random impulses to various parts of the body.”

jim presents Do You Love What You Do? posted at Blueprint for Financial Prosperity.

Alvaro Fernandez presents Brain Training: It Works, and It Doesn’t Work posted at SharpBrains: Your Window into the Brain Fitness Revolution, saying, “In short, if you are considering buying some of these new programs, for yourself, your patients, a loved one…you do need to do a bit of homework.”

Erin Pavlina presents Quick Answers to Quick Personal Development Questions posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “Does the law of attraction work? Is Levitation possible? Is abortion a sin? and many more questions answered.”

Thea Agnew presents My Daughter’s Way Of Healing posted at Last Train To Clarksville.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our
carnival submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest

Preparing for Valentines Day Alone

Anna Farmery — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 12:24:45 +0000

One thing I love about the Widows Quest community is the willingness to share our grief and tips on how to cope with bereavement. Here are quick tips on how to deal with grief and start the recovery during the Valentine’s Day from Louise Zweben, CEO of SympathyTree.com It is only a week away and I hope these tips on coping with grief will help us all. Feel free in the comments to add your own…
Create an online memorial that brings your family and friends together from all over the world to share stories of love and loss, sadness and joy, written in words, photos and video about the person you lost; to help us smile, laugh, cry and embrace our loved one’s life in an effort to make sense of our loss. While allowing you to create a very nice tribute to them on this special day, online memorial also provides the comfort of a close community and allows us to take the first steps needed to move forward.
Collect photographs and watch videos of you with your loved one as a way to remember the times you shared with them. You do not want to just block it out. Moving on starts with looking back.
Invite friends or family over to share a meal or some time together. Time spent with them can be a very cathartic and reflective time and begins the process of putting things in perspective.
Start the process of getting your business matters in order so you can begin to bring some normalcy back in your life. This involves getting in order the tax records, property records, investment records, insurance and retiree benefit records, as well as addressing trivial issues such as getting utility bills, bank accounts and credit cards in your name. Working with close family members or an attorney is the right way to start. Don’t postpone them for too long., start something small on this Valentine’s Day.
Pledge to join a support group, so you can learn to cope with the loss of someone who was a part of what made us what we are. So, what do we do, how do we go on after they are gone and how do we deal with the grief? In addition to family and friends, a support group can help you during this difficult time.
Visit their grave, so you can tell them how much you loved them and miss them. Say things you forgot to say when you were together, as if they are standing right in front of you. You may be carrying burdens of guilt, which unless released, will come in the way of your moving forward. Start unleashing those burdens this Valentine’s Day.

Post from: Widows Quest