If losing someone is this painful why do humans love at all?
Isn’t it strange how you can lose the power of your senses but still feel and show love?
True love is not that romantic love at all, true love is an unwavering, unconditional state of the heart which loves from the soul not the eyes.
When a human is stripped bare, when there is nothing around…what is the one possession which matters? A heart that has loved and is loved.
Life is what we make it, maybe death is what we make it too?

When you love someone, it is not just about loving them whilst …read more

Still at the hospital and it breaks my heart to see her lying there…looking almost childlike. I suppose I am now coming to terms with letting her go as she is finding harder and harder to breathe and you just don’t want her to find anything about life hard.
I had tears last night when I said to her “Its OK Nana, go to sleep…there is nothing to be afraid of Bronco (that is my nickname for my grandad) is waiting for you.”  The tears were recognition that I had to let her go, I had to help her through this …read more

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality”
Lao-tse Chinese Philosopher
For the next few posts I want to pick out some quotes which I have written down from the book I by Jim Clemmer, I told you about in Coping with Change in Our Life.
This quote stood out because it made me think how in a sense – bear with me on this! – it is not the death which creates our grief but our resistance to accepting what has happened. It is our resistance to letting go, …read more

Many of you know that I record an internet radio show (a podcast) called The Engaging Brand. Normally I don’t mention it here but this week I interviewed Jim Clemmer about how we cope with change in our lives. It was a really interesting interview and made me think about

How we put pressure on ourselves by thinking about the expectations of others
How our reality is not something fully defined…it is built from perception, so if we change our perception, we change our reality!

I think that you may find some tips that will help you with your grief. Death is the …read more

Today is our remembrance Sunday and I thought that instead of publishing the usual positive thinking articles I must take the time to remember those people who put their lives on the line to protect us all at home. I can never express my thanks throughout the century for all the men and women who have paid the ultimate price for freedom.
I can’t express the emotion that I have when I see a life taken in combat and how the family copes with the grief and sheer horror of loss.
There are no words I can write on Widows Quest that …read more

I often say that in death you learn so much about life. Before being faced with death, you can be so wrapped up with the big things without even knowing it….
For me, grief has highlighted the importance of the little things in life …..when I say the little things, small aspects of life which have a BIG impact. It has highlighted the little things from two perspectives

Looking back, what do I miss the most…the little things. Holding my hand when I don’t expect it, cuddling on the sofa, the smile, their warmth in bed, the laughing at the in joke….
And …read more

Walking in town today, I looked at the wonderful shades of the trees and thought how nature has this fabulous way of defining moods, defining life, defining change….through shades.
Grief should be based on fact in a way. It is based on a factual happening – that person you love has died. Yet, grief is not matter of fact, grief is not an exact science….grief is all the shades of autumn.
Bereavement and that sense of loss stirs emotions which are on a full spectrum of pain, and those leaves I looked at today almost reflected the rainbow of grief.

The vibrant reds …read more

An unusual post today as I was prompted to write about this following an email which I received recently.
I have always said I feel lucky to have loved and talked a lot about the pain of losing that love and the greif that follows….but I was asked
“What do you think is worse…losing the love of your life through death or having the love of your life leave in this world?”
Gosh, that is a difficult one and first of I would say they are both grief….both are situations about loss.
I wonder what you all think ?
For me I actually think the …read more

I came across this poem about love and death by Rodney Belcher which I thought was wonderful
I feel you in the morning
When at first I awake
Your thought is with me
With each decision I make
You’d been around forever
Since the first breath I took
Now I have to go on alone
But for love, I need not look
Cause by what you bestowed
In our short time together
Will last in my heart
Forever and ever
Although you’ve left
And now walk above
I’m never alone
I’m wrapped in your love
Enjoy now your long waited reward
Feel peace that your love continues on
What was taught to me, will be taught to mine
Cause you …read more

On last nights online grief meeting we talked about the difficulty in finding who you are….
It is interesting that I have always seen myself as independent, a romantic yes…but never thought that I had lost that independence. Then death happens and suddenly you don’t know who you are….somehow you realise that you had morphed from a person to a couple and your other half is missing.
I often write about defining yourself, in fact last week I talked about Building A New Life From Grief and said
“To build for the future you need to come to terms with who you are, …read more