Gosh even writing about it brings a lump to my throat. I idolised Dad and it still hurts that I could not stop that happening to him.

Anyway, (Anna pulls herself together!) I recorded an audio with Alvaro Fernandez about how to maintain a healthy brain, what it takes to help the brain remain strong. You can listen to The Engaging Brand podcast here.

If we are to get through grief we need to help our brain, I hope this helps you.

Post from: Widows Quest

But I have just read this article that your Memory is Improved by 20% by Walking. Now I am not sure that some parts of my memory I want back….you know the ones that I mean – the pain, the loss etc but in terms of our future life then walking is a great health protector. It says that the study

“The results showed that people’s performance on the test improved by almost 20% after wandering amongst the trees. By comparison those subjected to a busy street did not reliably improve on the test.

In the second study participants weren’t even allowed to leave the lab but instead some stared at pictures of natural scenes while others looked at urban environments. The improvements weren’t quite as impressive as the first study, but, once again, the trees and fields beat the roads and lampposts.”

I suppose I am even more interested as Dad died of dementia and as everyone always says I am his double, I am already working on preventing dementia..

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•  Saying he wanted to go, asking us to let him go. Giving us hope that death released him from pain.
• Though unconscious, smiling when we touched him- he knew the difference between family and nurses.
• Asking us for our commitment to look after mum – it was like passing on his role, giving us something to hang on to and live up to…..

You know, with Dad he died quickly of dementia- within 80 days of diagnosis. The doctors were surprised by his rapid decline – even held a post mortam, I wasn’t though…Dad was a very poud man who loved my mum so much. He wanted to go quickly, he didn’t want my mum to suffer or be a burden to anyone. His early death, I believe was truly his final act of love.I hated losing him, though mum said that we had lost him much earlier than when he took that final breath and she was right. I have a tear thinking of him now, Dad if you can access the internet from your resting place…I love you, I miss you every day of my life xxx 

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Post from: Widows Quest

Like many people, I don’t think I truly understood the strength of my love until it was too late. Somehow, you believe that parents will be there forever, or that they know how much you love them. When I watched Dad die with dementia, my heart broke. I held his hand as he took his final breath of life, and I knew that the one thing I had to do, was to keep his legacy of love alive.

I know that he would be proud of the community of widows and widowers we have at Widows Quest.  I know that he would love the way we support each other through grief, I know that he would be proud that we don’t just give up, that we fight to find our way through our bereavement.

Dad, I miss you. Today would have been a special day with family but despite your absence from our world, you stay alive in our hearts, in our minds and in the way we live our lives.

In special rememberance to all those we love – I will post the tributes that people have sent in to honour the memories of others the Widows Quest community have lost.

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Post from: Widows Quest

I wonder what he would make about the memorial stone – he would be embarrassed about the attention, yet proud to be recognised by the village. As he was cremated, it is lovely to have somewhere the family can go and talk to him, to be with him. 

Tonight I spoke to Mum and she sounded so tired. You forget how emotionally draining these days are, I know all day I have been yawning as well. Bereavement and grief drains the energy from you, I used to think tiredness came from physical work…..now I realise that emotional work from the heart is as tiring.

Remember to help me to honor Dad’s memory by sending in your stories, dedications to your loved ones. You can email them to me at anna@b5media.com by 10 August

Post from: Widows Quest

Fortunately at the end of his life – he died of dementia – we became close and we both managed to say those three little words to each other. Families are strange aren’t they…..now he isn’t he, I miss him soooo very much.

Anyway it will be his birthday on August 12th and I wanted to do something that honours his memory. He loved people, he loved to share, he was the champion for the underdog. So I was thinking that on 12 August I will bring together stories or memorials of other people who have lost people, they loved.

To this end if you want to join in the email me at anna@b5media.com with either

• A story that makes you smile of someone you have lost
• A dedication for someone you loved and lost
• A poem inspired by your grief
• Or a link to an article that you have written about the death or grief over a loved one

So that I have time to pull them together could you get them to me by 10 August 2008. 

Let’s make that day special and show the power of love, the power of sharing and the power of memories…. 

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Post from: Widows Quest

When I look at their faces, I see the sheer delight that someone is reaching out to them, that they feel loved, that they are thoroughly enjoying being in the company of people that understand the power of grief.

Family can be such a wonderful comfort, one true happiness that I have is bringing some love to the world of others…..today I feel good, today I forget my worries and ensure that these two important people in my life know they are loved…funny how doing good for others, has the wonderful effect of lighting up your own life.

Maybe we should all ask what value can I bring to the world of others today?

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“OSCAR the cat makes his grand entrances just as life is about to leave.A hop onto the bed, a fastidious lick of the paws, then a snuggle beside a nursing home patient with little time left. Oscar’s purr, when keeping close company with the dying, is so intense it is almost a low rumble.”He’s a cat with an uncanny instinct for death,” said David Dosa, assistant professor at the Brown University School of Medicine and a geriatric specialist. “He attends deaths. He’s pretty insistent on it.”

In the two years since Oscar was adopted into the dementia unit of the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Centre in Providence he has maintained close vigil over the deaths of more than 25 patients, nursing staff and doctors say….When death is near, Oscar nearly always appears at the last hour or so. Yet he shows no special interest in patients who are simply in poor shape, or even patients who may be dying but who still have a few days. Authorities in animal behaviour have no explanation for Oscar’s ability to sense imminent death. They theorise that he might detect some subtle change in metabolism – felines are as acutely sensitive to smells as dogs – but are stumped as to why he would show interest.”

When death comes having someone there to care and be there, is wonderful – for some Oscar is their comfort.

Post from: Widows Quest