Forget whether the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq are right – that is not relevant to this blog post – but it seems that each day I watch the news there are more deaths in Afghanistan. More fathers, sons, daughters, wives dying, more coffins returning home to their family.
For someone who knows the devastation of death, I just cannot imagine what these familes go through. What they go through when they are alive fighting on the front line and what they go through when they hear that fateful news…..
I don’t think I could cope with the not knowing, the fear, …read more

Since losing people close to me, I have become desperate to understand more about the brain, about death and about dying. Not in a morbid way at all, just in a curious way. For anyone else who wants to understand more I have come across a site called How Stuff Works and especially their section on Death and Dying.
The reason why I like reading is that the more understand, the more I come to terms with the natural side of death. The more I understand the less I fear, the less I fear the more that I can cope with …read more

Death has always scared me, as a child I just comprehend what happened. I think when people have died around me the fact that death scares me makes coping with their loss more difficult because I fear for them.
Last night I was watching Desperate Housewives and Edie died. She said something that stayed with me
“Its not hard to die when you know you have lived”
The reason why is that it reminded me of Dad dying. He said on his third to last day when I asked him if he had any regrets
“Why would I ? I have lived the most …read more

Ever since I suffered my bereavement, I have had a mixed recollection of memories. Let me explain…
I can remember feelings, I can remember places, I can remember events and yet I cannot remember his face. The only memory that I have is that of him dying in the hospital, it is as though my mind has blocked out any other memories I have….I thought with time they would return and yet no….they remain elusive.
At first I hated it, I wanted to remember the smile, the face, they eyes….and now I wonder whether it is a good thing? The fact that …read more

I came across a site called The D Word which is run by Sue Brayne which looks at all aspects of death and dying.  She has two booklets which may help you if you are facing the death of a loved one or want to reach out to carers or friends who are losing someone close to you.
I smiled at a quote on the site from C.S.Lewis

Oh, gosh how I know that feeling, how at times I just want to be invisible instead of facing the embarrassed stranger who wants to help and yet just doesn’t know what to say …read more

I am determined this year to try and rebuild my life and as a small step I decided not to keep thinking about what I missed from him dying but what are the good things about living on my own.You see I want to be more positive, see the milk bottle half full etc To see what I have rather than what I haven’t got…..just one small step on the way to grief recovery….
I don’t mean it in a harsh way but to try and get me seeing a future….most of them are silly and made me smile as he …read more

I was wondering about heartache, and wondering if people can die from a broken heart. When I googled the idea, I came across this great article on emotional pain at the BBC website. I want to pick out a few ideas from the article

“Simultaneous brain scanning revealed that the pain of being socially rejected was processed in much the same way in the brain as physical pain.” 
“Physical pain warns us not to do something, walk on a broken ankle for instance. And emotional pain too can be a warning – “don’t go near that sort of man again”, “avoid …read more

There is an ongoing conversation at the blog post Watching Someone Die, which made me think of final acts of love. If any of you have examples let me know – anna@b5media.com, and I will share with everyone. In my comment, I talked about how Dad seemed to wait until after my sister had left the room to die, so he didn’t leave her with the picture of him dying….I believe it was his final act of love for a daughter he knew was not emotionally strong enough to see that final breath.I think there were other acts of love, like..

 Saying he wanted …read more

Death brings that separation and often gives that sense of grief of not being able to say final words to the person you love…well, I came across a site called Justincaseidie which says
“For many people, the worst thing about dying is that you’ll never get to see your loved ones again, or eat another steak, or gaze upon another sunrise. For others, however, it’s that you never got to tell your boss he was a prat.
 
Enter Justincaseidie.com. in just a few clicks, you can save a message that will only be sent to it’s intended recipient if you die. …read more

When you grieve you can so easily concentrate on death, or dying that you can forget the purpose of life. Life and death are circular friends who dance with each other day in day out…so what is my take on life?  
L= Love and to be loved
I = Inspire a legacy which you can be proud of
F= Family and friends and the human bonds that we create, share and experience together
E= Enjoy the rarest gift that we have been given life. You are given the chance to enjoy the world, life has to be about love and enjoyment
 That is my …read more