Often I am glad that I feel invisible but I don’t know about you, but when you are widowed you suddenly feel invisible to the world. After the first few weeks, suddenly the world moves on and yet you are not ready to…Why do I feel invisible?

Because I need to find my own personality again, you are no longer the same person, the one in the couple. You are invisible, because in some way you are invisible to you? 
At home when the tears flow and no one in the world can see the pain I feel. After those first few …read more

When you are depressed the easiest thing is to surround your self with people who sympathise, who agree with all the reasons for your loneliness, your grief, your sadness.
What you really need though, are friends that empathise not sympathise. Friends who will listen attentively and the help you take action to pull yourself out of the depression.
It may feel better speaking to the former, but the latter are the ones that you need, the ones that are there to really help you. I love all my friends but the real “diamonds” are the ones that keep the light burning at …read more

Am I the only one that gets up some days and just can’t think how to get through the day, when each hour seems to take 3, when breathing seems difficult? What I realised a while ago is that the feeling is miserable and it tends to spiral downwards…and I hate that feeling of utter depression. SO I got to think that if I hate the thought of feeling miserable more than I hate the thought of trying to get out of the mindset…then I might as well do…well, something.
Doing something is hard, but it is better than the downward spiral …read more

When I was 17 I fell ill, and was paralysed and in a wheelchair for about 6 months. During that time people told me to come to terms with not walking again, I never accepted that…and carried on exercising my legs with the use of my arms. Why am I writing about this? Well, your mind is a very powerful tool and at times of grief your mind works overtime. Your mind will be telling you that your life is over, that your world has ended. It hasn’t, that is the hurt…..that is the pain. The focus of your life …read more

Tomorrow I will be posting the weekly carnival on positive thinking, I received one entry from someone who apologised for being a bit late with their submission. The reason they had suffered the loss of their dear son – see their comments on helping others sleep here. Here is Neill who is trying to help others despite the grief he is suffering, what a wonderful lesson in life. No matter how we are feeling, no matter the hurt…..in helping others you can seek comfort. I would like to say thank you to Neill for sharing his story and also watch out for his post tomorrow in …read more

When I first suffered loss, I found sleeping so so difficult. As emotionally tired as I felt as soon as I put my head on the pillow I could not stop my mind from thinking, of grieving, of remembering. One thing that helped me was – and don’t laugh! – was running up and down the stairs to tire me out phsyically…I didn’t feel like going out so I used my home gym, the stairs!
 What this did was tire me out and made me feel more tired. Before I went to bed I had a small nightcap and a cup …read more

My heart goes out to Tiffany – read her reply to yesterday’s post a greiving heart and broken dreams are heart wrenching. I so wish I could provide an answer. But as I say..there isn’t one. What you want will not occur, they are gone but the memories are still alive and well.
One thing that I have realised is that life is far too short…and dreams must be lived now thats why I have set my own 10 dreams that I want to enact now. Life is about now, you don’t get a second chance….

In writing the post to Tiffany it made me think why not just give in to the emotion, why not just give up? These are questions that go through our minds so why not just give in…well here are several strong reasons.

Family. You know what grief is like, your family love you and they want you to come through….as they don’t want to lose you.
Spouse. They would not want you to give up, they would want you to remember them but they love you…they want you to find happiness.
Children. They are the embodiment of love between you and your spouse, your …read more

I received an emotional comment from Tiffany to the A Letter than meant the World to me post and I would like all of us who have suffered bereavement to help Tiffany with her grief. If you have any thoughts please leave a comment and lets show our support to help a fellow widow come through the dark days.
Tiffany – there is no magical solution, I wish there was! A couple of thoughts I would share with you are

Read my posts on the grief cycle so that you understand the process of grief. What you are feeling is natural and you have to …read more

It is easy to let your personal appearance go when you are feeling down, depressed or lonely. I have just been to get my hair cut and I have to say I feel so much better….it only took about 45 minutes, there and back and now I feel so much better in myself. It is important to get up, shower, dress smartly…even in the depths of grief, when you don’t feel like it. The dirtier you feel, I find that feeds depression…..so no matter how hard you find it, challenge yourself to keep you appearance.
My nan once said to me …read more