“your life’s footprint’s will not be washed away by the tide of grief”

When our loved ones leave us sometimes I think that we hold on to the memories as tight as we can because we fear if we let go then somehow

• We are doing something wrong
• We may forget them
• Others may forget them

On those days when you feel guilty or you feel fear then remember what I said at Nana’s funeral. They may be gone from our everyday lives but we will NEVER, NEVER forget them from our hearts.

Post from: Widows Quest

I found it hard to walk away, it felt as though life had already moved on and yet Nana was still there….I know it is only her body (Gosh this sounds a bit macabre) but I didn’t want to leave her alone. I had spent all that time at her bedside and now I was walking away from her…

I know what people say….the spirit lives on and in my mum, aunts and uncle she surely will….but I am still a little numb, a little raw today. I keep asking myself

“Does the world REALLY remember you when you have gone? I know I will, I kiss her hankie each night before going to sleep….but will the people who were there yesterday?”

The answer is clearly not on a daily basis and in that sense it is right….the idea of The King is Dead, Long live the king kind of thing, I mean life must carry on….yet when you are so close to someone that feels awful…

I am thinking this is normal, this is grieving…but still it makes you wonder about your own legacy…who will really remember us?

Post from: Widows Quest

1. I concentrated on seeing this as speaking on his behalf, this was not about me or my nerves this   was about speaking on behalf of my loved one. This gave me the strength to do it…I wanted to”do him proud”
2. I wrote the speech straight from the heart, I thought about what he would want me to say and wrote it as if we were speaking about it. I didn’t over edit it, I just let the words flow.
3. I printed it out in VERY BIG PRINT...sounds silly but if you have tears in your eyes, or your hands start to shake…then it is easier to read.
4. When I first stood up…I focused on a friend who I knew would smile and comfort me…I almost spoke the words to her…
5. I understood that this was emotional and that each person listening would know how hard it was for me to speak….I didn’t fear getting emotional and actually that ensured that I kept myself together. There is something in knowing that you can, that stops you from breaking down.
6. I had asked my cousin to take over if I did fail – therefore I had a back up plan just in case.
7. Speak slowly …and take 3-4 large breaths before you stand up.
8. Don’t make the speech too long….and also celebrate the life as well as acknowledging the loss.
9. I practised speaking out loud many times the night before…that way I almost knew it by heart and knew that I would not stutter.
10. I spoke early at the funeral, this allowed me to concentrate on delivering a worthy speech and then allowed me to become emotional and grieve during the rest of the time.

I hope these help you if you are faced with speaking at a funeral. Key is knowing that for once in your life, each person in the audience is on your side, empathetic, expect you to be emotional…

Post from: Widows Quest