Widows Quest » falling-in-love-again

4 Tips on Being Heartbroken

Anna Farmery — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:01:41 +0000

In grief we talk about being heartbroken, what I want to suggest is that our heart is NOT broken, it is still capable of loving again, it is still beating to keep us alive. Maybe what we should say is that we are heart – cracked!

I often think that the words we use, don’t help us through our bereavement. If we believe it is broken then, we automatically think that there is no hope. There is hope, we have read stories on the blog of people who have found a new way of being happy, or even falling in love again. Maybe we should see that we need to find the GLUE to mend the crack

G = Getting out and about again to re-join life

L = Love. Sharing our love with family and friends to show ourselves that we are still loving people who care

U = Understanding that we need to take small steps each day to rebuild our life. There is no one big answer, just incremental steps that will help heal our pain.

E = Exercise. Our heart is a muscle that needs strengthening after it has been poorly. The best way is exercising – maybe a little walk each day, maybe some yoga, maybe joining a gym class. The more we strengthen, the quicker we help our heart heal

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Post from: Widows Quest

A Letter to A Grieving Heart

Anna Farmery — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:21:26 +0000

My dearest heart,

I hear you cry during the night, I hear you ache for the hug that will say that your partners heart was still beating next to you, I hear you beat each moment fighting that desire to give up and join the heart you are missing. You are my soul and my way of living through this grief. I understand your pain and will be there for you. You need my support at this tragic time. I will feed you well, I will exercise to keep you healthy and I hope that one day we will come through together…. You were born to love and I need to find a way to encourage you to risk opening your feelings again. After all, a heart was born to love, with love comes risk but with risk comes the chance of falling in love again.

Keep beating, keep taking one day at a time….I will be there when you are ready to live again.

Grieving Widow

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Post from: Widows Quest

Finding Love Again

Anna Farmery — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:46:52 +0000

I got a comment about how to meet new people. I think the first thing I would say is that just like something that you have lost and are looking for – if you search too hard then you cannot find it! For me, it is about putting yourself back in a social circle, enjoying the company and looking for friendship that may grow in the future. Some ideas that I have are

Join a local interest club – walking, pottery, heritage, music
Take a course – learning a language, computer skills, cookery – whatever you would like to learn.
Hold a themed party or barbecue and ask friends, family
Join on line groups that are for widows, widowers, bearevement
Join a bereavement support club
Start a sport – my mum at 76 took up crown green bowls!
Join a volunteer group – bonus of helping others whilst meeting new people
Arrange a holiday – one that is for singles with similar interests – I went on a walking holiday

The key is about being out there, learning to be YOU again, learning to enjoy life again without feeling guilty. I am a believer in givers gain – when you meet someone ask how you can help them, ask questions about them – people love to talk about themselves.

Anyone else got any ideas?

Post from: Widows Quest