In the comments this week it is clear that we are all up and down a little at the moment. Remember I am no poet but here are my thoughts on courage
I dig deep inside just to find
That courage I know is hidden inside
That courage will mean I take a step each day
No matter how shaky, it’s at least on the way
To finding that peace which I crave to feel
As in falling in love, pain wasn’t part of the deal
So courage is hard but we have to dig deep
And find that smile, rather than weep
So one step at a time …read more

In coping with grief – does anyone forget about who you really are?
I know that in so many ways I had defined myself by my relationship, so much so that I now struggle with knowing who I am. Funny really because my partner was someone who wasn’t controlling, he actually encouraged my independence.
I wonder whether my struggle to know who I am, is less about reality but more in my own perception? I feel loss, and loss in its own definition means something missing. Therefore I feel that something is missing in me. In reality though I am still me, …read more

Just a couple of thoughts for the weekend on the need for hope, the thought of falling in love again and the risk that love brings for your heart – however, for all that pain I would not swap that feeling of real love that I was lucky enough to have,  for anything, would you?
“May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays”
and
“Love comes to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to …read more

Grief affects in so many ways, it shakes your self confidence to the core. I find that I get scared about the future, of loneliness, of never feeling happy again. I find that social situations scare me, I don’t want to be around people that I don’t know.
I wonder why someone who used to be so strong and indeed so sociable can feel this way? Me, as a person has not changed or have I? My personality is bound to be different by losing someone I love. He helped give me strength, helped give me confidence. But you know, it …read more

Happiness for widows sometimes feel so far apart. Then you see the stories of how people have gone on to have a fulfilling life and you can see that a death of a loved one is hard – no doubt – but it really doesn’t have to remove any chance of happiness from our lives.
I read this quote from David Myers who is the Professor of Psychology at Hope College in a new book which is about bouncing back from failure
“Happiness seems less a matter of getting what we want than wanting what we have”
When you think of how that …read more

It is a question that often comes up in my mind. Firstly, I feel guilty about even thinking about falling in love again, I feel I don’t want to love again as though that would somehow be wrong and yet I know that there is nothing I can do to bring him back. I am still alive and still have a life to live.
Life in reality is about love. We learn to love in our young lives through our families. Love is something that as humans we need, that we seek as a basic need of living happily.
Love is a …read more

…you can feel like there really is nothing left to live for, that is both a common and understandable feeling. No matter what the loss  -your job, your company, your money or indeed the death of a loved one..part of you dies, but do you know the most important part of that sentence…”part of”
When you fall in love, you give a part of yourself over to that other person, when they leave your world that part leaves with them. However, I would like you to think about the rest of you…you gave a PART of your heart, your life…there is …read more

My wise old Nana said to me one day that I should never NOT want to have “heart hurt” – I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I think I understand what she meant now…
Nana said to me that you only hurt when you have loved. People who don’t hurt have not had the very special feeling of love. Love is such a special feeling, it is in many ways the strongest feeling – be it the love for a child, the love of a partner etc.
She said to me that I should feel very lucky to have had the experience …read more