At a time of loss one of the great comforts to us all is our family. Family understands, family provide love and support, family helps fill the void. The photo here is of my family who I love very much. My mum and my 96 year old Nana both who have lost their husbands but have found a way of enjoying life again.
Here are some thoughts on the strength of families
F= Family provides comfort, and always remember to say how much you love them. You never know when you might lose someone, so ensure they know how you feel.
A= Always …read more

Guilt is something we all feel when we lose someone. We feel guilty that we are still alive, or guilty about enjoying ourselves. Guilt is a normal part of grief. Let me share a story…
Jane lost her husband and for the next few months she didn’t go out – she felt too guilty, she forgot how to smile – she felt too guilty, she survived the days – guilty of living.
One day her sister said to her “What did Jake enjoy?” Jane looked and said “He loved being out with his friends, having a drink and having a laugh”
“And what …read more

A wonderful gift you can make for yourself, to help you through the darker days is to make a cd of all your favourite songs, special songs that were important to you both. You can then listen to this and feel close. I also made a cd of all my favourite uplifting songs and played that to help me through my down times.
Music is a wonderful emotive way of remembering and also lifting the spirits…..

I received a comment on yesterday’s post and wanted to share another story, which I hope will help. My mum is 76 and lost my dad 3 years ago. Recently, she joined a bowling club much against her better judgement and also because she did not feel confident going out on her own. We found her a friend to go with, and now after only a couple of months she has found a new lease of life.
She has been amazed at the support from people within the club, and is stunned at the lengths people will go to help her …read more

I have very little memory of my chiildhood, I don’t know why but I can’t remember being close to dad. My mum yes, I remember cuddling her a lot and I remember being sat on her knee until quite old. So guess my surprise when I searched through the photo albums and found photo’s of dad and I together with a real closeness.
Memories are wonderful but photo’s can really help fill in the gaps…I am a believer in having photo’s on show, keeping the great memories alive and I also believe that they provide great comfort. My favourite photo of dad …read more

When we suffer loss, the hurt is real. I think it is also important to remember the gain that you have had in your life.

Be sad for the loss, but be happy for having had them in your life even for a short time.
Feel the hurt but also remember the happy times that you experienced.
Recognise the world’s loss, but recognise the contribution they made while they were alive.
Be sad for the loss of future memories but hold dear the memories of the past.
Be sad for a while but know that life will bring joy again.
Be sad for the love lost …read more

“As woman cry and men attempt not to, letting them know that their mourning is a step toward the goal of healing will help a man feel more in control.”
Adelle Tilton
If you have experienced a loss, the odds are high that you know a man who is experiencing the same loss, perhaps your brother-in-law or your husband’s father. As you cry and mourn the death of your husband, you probably have seen the struggle that a man goes through when he is confronted by death. How can you help a man deal with grief and find the healing he needs?
The …read more