It started last night, I don’t know why but depression fell over my body. I realised it was coming and yet I just couldn’t motivate myself to stop it from happening.

Depression – that feeling that there is nothing to hold on to, that feeling of being alone, that feeling that you are tired of fighting the feeling…just grabs hold. The worst part is that there is no one there to hold you, to hold you tight and tell you that they believe in you.

I tend to be one of those friends who people tell their problems to, which means that I understand how they are feeling and don’t want to burden them with my feelings. After all the last thing I want to hear is that “You are just having a bad day”, “It will all be OK tomorrow” etc

I am also a person who wants to cope, a person who wants to show the world that I can cope…no matter the financial worries or the feeling of emptiness.

So what can I do? Well the first thing is to write it down – blogging is a great way to accept the feeling. The second is to allow myself to feel that way, most days I fight it, most days I put on the brave face….my heart and brain is just saying “Look I need to recharge”

The final thing for me is to break the silence in the house. I am naturally a bit of a hermit! So even if i feel like getting into my grief bunker, I realise I must keep the human voice present. I put on the radio, I listen to podcasts, I watch the TV…trying to watch the more uplifting items rather than ones which will depress me more.

You know, as widows and widowers we are brave little beings…some days though we need to allow our hearts to be fragile as it doesn’t show weakeness it shows humanity….

Post from: Widows Quest

This feeling is awful, and I feel OK thinking like this because I have learned to trust myself to come through it…so today I will allow myself to feel down. Tomorrow I will write down a couple of action points that I will achieve over the coming days to kick start my life again.

For today, I will feel alone, I will feel down, I will feel that I just don’t want to see anyone. Today I  will struggle to understand that anyone else can feel like this, I will struggle to see what is the point…..Days like today are just a sign that I am still struggling on the journey through grief. No matter, I am not mad – I am just human!

Would love to hear your thoughts on how you cope with these days and is it just Valentine Day blues?

Post from: Widows Quest