I was trying to think the other day of the positives of getting old….?

• Experience to handle life?
• Memories to cherish
• Ability to help younger people develop and grow
• Family and extended family
• More comfortable in your own skin

Maybe because it is one of those days! (I need our Widows Quest Support Group Meeting this Friday) but then I thought of all the negatives

• aches and pains
• understanding life so much better and having a lack of energy to live it!
• pains and scars of life on the heart

Am I just feeling low? Maybe and yet I always look in the mirror and wonder what really is that great about getting old….do you think more about your age being a widow or widower or is it just me?

Post from: Widows Quest

YOU! ….You are unique, you are special because there is only one of you. Loss can mean that you forget about your special qualities that you bring to this world. Depression can mean that you forget about how the world is lucky to have you as part of it’s human race.

When you lost your loved one, you may have lost many things but not your uniqueness. Grab a pen and write down what makes you, you. What makes you unique in this world, what value can you bring to a world so desperately in need of your love and special qualities.

Now I know that you will think – nah, I am not special. Well…you are…you have a uniqueness, you have lived and loved, you have felt the highs and lows with life that if used right could bring values to others. You have lost a person who gave you one reason to live, but there are many others and many people who would love to tap into that person inside that made you so loved.   

Post from: Widows Quest

I am going to exercise today as I find the more exercise I do, the more that emotion seems to subside. It   also gives me a chance to talk to myself. Today I feel lost, feel lonely, surplus to requirements to the whole world, that I try and ensure every body else is OK but no one checks back on me….I know feeling selfish today, aren’t I!

I know in reality that I do bring something to this world, I do have people who love me…I just need to concentrate on reducing the gap between how I am feeling and what the true reality is…

Post from: Widows Quest

1. We decide our reality. If we believe we are depressed we are, if we believe there are positive aspects to our life then we will feel happier. Write down 3 things that are great about your life – your children, your family, your health, the fact that you have enjoyed the feeling of being in love…..post them around your house and read them out loud during the day. Reading these phrases will replace, eventually the negative thoughts.
2. Habits form in about 21 days….so for 21 days no matter how you feel, do something positive that makes you feel better. I started to get up early and do a 20 minute walk, the exercise really helped my energy and the sunlight helped my positive outlook…after 21 days it became a habit that now I look forward to…
3. Focus on the medium term rather than now. Think about what you want to feel like, what you want to achieve in 6 months…..write your ideas down and then develop little action steps that will take you towards your goal. Each   week ensure that you have taken a step no matter how small or how big. It helps you see that you can rebuild your life, it gives you something to aim for, it gives you the feeling of being in control of your own happiness, it gives you a sense of achievement.

I know how hard all this seems, genuinely. But feeling depressed is hard, feeling out of control is hard….doing these 3 things at least helps you move towards a better life.

Post from: Widows Quest

Emptiness is such a debilitating feeling – that feeling that you have no focus, no reason for being. That feeling that you are crying inside.

I have just got a pen and written down

• Why life is precious to me…
• What I have achieved over the last few months…
• 3 things that I have to look forward to in the coming weeks….  

It is so important to fill that emptiness, to fill that void with positive thoughts….we are in control of how we feel, even when we think we are not! Our outlook is our choice, today I chose to feel low, now I have chosen to turn that around…..see you after my walk!

Post from: Widows Quest

“One of the greatest griefs suffered by survivors of Auschwitz was dealing with the bewilderment of having survived. Why did I live when so many others died?

But think of the gift of life you have been given miraculously.

Isn’t it worth taking advantage of it? You owe it to your wife if not yourself.

What a waste it would be if you remain withdrawn, depressed and on the sidelines of life. I can’t help but feel there’s more than a little self-pity in your state of mind.

Things could change dramatically for you if you can escape that. One escape route that rarely fails is helping those who are in a much worse position than you.

Speak to your doctor or priest about how you could invest your efforts in helping needy people in your locality.

You could shop for old people or the disabled. You could visit housebound people and just read the newspaper for them. Prison visiting is something else you might consider.’”

 Helping others has 2 effects for me – it occupies my mind and it fills that gap of being needed. The act of helping sounds unselfish but the irony is, is that it helps me as much.

Post from: Widows Quest

• I shared my feelings with a friend. Vocalising the emotion, helped enormously as it seemed to release it from my head.
• I set myself 3 actions for today – easy ones but ones that felt that I was moving forward.
• I had an early night. I think when you are tired you struggle to cope with your emotions.
• I accepted that I was not a failure for feeling down, it was natural and that it was OK to feel that way.
• I changed my thinking from thinking about my problems and thinking about solutions.

I hope this may help some of you with your feelings, with your depression. I know I was depressed because I felt out of control – so I took control over the things that I could ACTUALLY control and ACCEPTED that no worry will change past events.

Post from: Widows Quest

1. Separate out the emotion you feel in the thought by looking at it As-If you were observing it from the outside – say to yourself “How fascinating, I am having a negative thought.” Instantly, it reduces.

2. Ramp up positive emotions by using words like “sensational”, “awesome” and “fantastic, and reduce negative emotions through words like “peeved”, “miffed” and “mellowed”. Next time your partner upsets you, say that you feel “slightly grazed” – the emotion is less, immediately.

3. Wherever you are, bring yourself back to the now, the present – give your full attention to the person you are speaking to, to the tv, to the blog, hey, to that small mark on the wall. It is impossible to be present, really present, and feel negative.
I like these as it shows that we can control the way that we are thinking

Post from: Widows Quest

“Remember that time when you had a headache or your foot hurt? It hurt and hurt mainly due to your concentration on the pain. But, when your focus and attention shifted to something else, the more you had your attention away from your pain, the less pain you felt!”

At first I thought….uhm hitting your foot is hardly the same as losing your loved one…and then as I started to think more about it, it is true. Look through my blog posting, it is about filling that void in your life with other things to look forward to, in this context an opportunity to move the focus of your pain onto something that creates enjoyment. As hard as it seems, the post is right. We can concentrate too hard on the pain that we are feeling and not enough on something that can create a diversion, a moment of relief. Maybe we don’t like to think of it like that, but in reality we all need to find a focus…..

Post from: Widows Quest

ananga presents Moments of Tranquility – Breath Counting posted at Answers from Ayurveda, saying, “Relaxation and meditation exercise for inviting calm – with free MP3 instructions and meditation music”

Deb Serani presents The Broken Heart Syndrome: AKA Stress Cardiomyopathy posted at Dr. Deborah Serani, saying, “This post looks at Broken Heart Syndrome”

Debra Moorhead presents What Would Your Future Self Be Doing Right Now? posted at Debra Moorhead.com.

Matthew Paulson presents Why Focused Intensity Is All You Need posted at Getting Green.

Nneka presents Waiting On The World To Change posted at Balanced Life Center.

Shamelle presents How To Easily (and Lazily!) Make Your Loved One Feel Special posted at Enhance Life.

MabelandHarry presents Handling Pressure posted at MabelandHarry 

Talia Mana presents Can Blogging reduce Depression? posted at Emotional Well-Being, saying, “Talia interviews new blogger Therese Borchard on depression and anxiety, her writing, spirituality, motherhood and how blogging is helping her stay sane.”

Walt presents Pain is a Highly Concentrated Thought posted at Walt Nation!.

Michael Cavano presents Follow Your Purpose posted at SubSun Records . com.

presents The Best Way to Help People posted at OptmistLab.com, saying, “The most empowering thing you can ever do for someone is to honor their particular journey.

Hueina Su presents Celebrating YOU: The Leading Lady of Your Show posted at Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, saying, “Remember, you are the Leading Lady and director of your own show. You are in charge and fully responsible for how your show turns out to be. If your show is competing for the Academy Award of Life, which categories will it be nominated? Which awards will you win?”

Craig Harper presents So, You’ve Decided to Get in Shape….. Again (Part One) posted at Renovate your life with Craig, saying, “What if losing weight ain’t that complex?

Barbra Sundquist presents Who Pushes Your Buttons? posted at HomeBusinessWiz.

Barbra Sundquist presents Tied to Joy…With A Simple Piece of String posted at WelcomeJoy.com.

Maria Yu presents Monet and Eternal Expression posted at Life.

Christine Kane presents It Might Be Time to Take a Risk if… posted at Christine Kane.

Moses E. Miles III presents How to Start Your Day off Right posted at Three Sticks – www.mosesedwardmilesiii.com – Empowering, Teaching, Healing.

Reb Chaim HaQoton presents Tithes and Charities posted at Reb HaQoton.

Raymond David Salas presents How to Solve All of Your Problems posted at ZenChill.com – Power Tools for Mind, Body, and Soul.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Post from: Widows Quest