Widows Quest » finding-love-again http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest Redefine Yourself and Rediscover Life after a Loss Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:57:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Preparing for a Lonely Valentine’s Day http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/preparing-for-a-lonely-valentines-day/ http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/preparing-for-a-lonely-valentines-day/#comments Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:15:57 +0000 Anna Farmery http://www.widowsquest.com/preparing-for-a-lonely-valentines-day/ Post from: Widows Quest

]]> When any holiday, anniversary or celebration comes around I like to prepare myself ahead of time, so that the pain of grief is eased. We are now just over a week a way from Valentine’s Day – so what am I doing to ensure that I cope despite that sense of missing the one I love.

  • I buy flowers, the flowers that I would have received and put them in the sitting room. Flowers always cheer me up, theyrosesfromtop.jpg remind me of wonderful memories and also they have such a lovely smell that makes me feel better.
  • I write a letter each year, go to our special place on the day and read it out. So I start writing it now and thinking about what I want to say and what I want to share about my personal progress.
  • I try and arrange going out with a friend on Valentines Day. Or I visit an older family member, just to ensure that I am not wallowing but showing my love to others…

Valentine’s also reminds me that love is such a wonderful emotion. I try and spend some time ensuring that I am not shutting my emotions   down and that I feel that I can love again….I may not be ready but it is important to remind ourselves that finding love again is OK, that as human beings we are built to love….a new love will never mean forgetting, it will mean that I have come to terms with the right to be happy again…

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]]> http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/preparing-for-a-lonely-valentines-day/feed/ 29 Learning to Love Again http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/learning-to-love-again/ http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/learning-to-love-again/#comments Mon, 16 Oct 2006 11:19:51 +0000 Anna Farmery http://www.widowsquest.com/learning-to-love-again/ Post from: Widows Quest

]]> When we fall in love we believe it will be forever…..well, it is! Even if you lose that person, you never lose the love in the very soul of you. Love is eternal, love is a wonderful gift of life.

The greatest gift is finding the ability to love again. It is something that we tend to feel guilty about, as though we must only ever love one person. In life, we love more than one person – our family, our lover, our parents, our friends. They may be different kinds of loving but you do love more than one person. When you have a second child it does not mean that you stop loving your first born…..you may have different feelings but you have the capacity to love without guilt.

As a widow you have had a gift…. a gift of knowing how special it is to love someone. To love is a gift we should not shut down, loving someone new will be different and importantly it will never take away the love you had….you should not feel guilt but a sense of wonder at the opportunity that life has given you a second chance to share love in the world.ringsinpetals.jpg

Don’t feel ready – that is fine – just allow time to heal and the heart to mend. Your heart has not died it is broken but through love in the future it will mend and flourish.

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