Reflecting after a death is something that we do naturally. However, I think it is so important to make that reflection two way so that we grow and mature from the experience
R = Remember the good times and think what you brought to them so that you can learn about what makes you and those around you happy.
E = Emotions. Reflect on the strength of yor love. How love has affected your life and understand that love is a wonderful asset to have had in your life and therefore in the future.
F = Friends. I am a great believer that …read more

When you grieve you can so easily concentrate on death, or dying that you can forget the purpose of life. Life and death are circular friends who dance with each other day in day out…so what is my take on life?  
L= Love and to be loved
I = Inspire a legacy which you can be proud of
F= Family and friends and the human bonds that we create, share and experience together
E= Enjoy the rarest gift that we have been given life. You are given the chance to enjoy the world, life has to be about love and enjoyment
 That is my …read more

What a tough weekend, I feel as though I have been on a rollercoaster of emotion. Though not that many ups..just twists and downs really
One thing that I have had to learn is that when those feelings hit you  – and almost surprise you  – then you need to reach out for help. It is not a weakness it is a sign of strength that you know that you need help.
I phoned a friend who could not solve my issues or my worries but what they could do is make me feel needed…what they could do was move …read more

Today is my birthday and in many ways it feels lonely and yet in others it has been wonderful.
Yes, I am another year older..yes, I would love to be surrounded by those people I have loved and lost..yes, I  sense the loneliness.
Yet today it is strange because of social networks like Twitter, Facebook and here at Widows Quest I have had so many messages. It just shows that there are friends out there that   care, people who mind whether you feel part of this world or lonely.
We often think we are alone, when if we look round there are …read more

I have found such solace on the web and found so many people who have helped me through the dark days. Here are 5 tools that I have used as a way of beating loneliness

Blogging:- I love this blog, I love the fact that I can share my feelings and that in some small way I can reach out to others, hopefully helping them through the bereavement process.
Twitter:- This is a really great way of seeing what other people are doing and also sharing tips with each other. It is what they call microblogging…which is a posh term for writing …read more

This time of year is hard as we miss the people who are no longer with us to share the holiday times. But I like to see it as a chance to
1) Pay THANKS to my lost loved one for GIVING me the most wonderful years of my life. After all we can we may miss them but we were lucky enough to have had them in our lives and to have felt happiness with them.
2) Ensure that I am GIVING to others to show THANKS for them being in my life.
Thanks and Giving are 2 such underutilized words and …read more

A friend sent me this today and I thought I would share it with you.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet
a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide
you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally
or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them …read more

Yesterday, was difficult. Celebrating and yet missing. But the wonderful part of the day was the warmth and love from those around me. Often they don’t say the right thing, often I am not sure that they do understand grief but I never doubt that they love me and want me to grow and be happy.
Friends are a wonderful source of love, they give it unconditionally and can fill some of the void that you feel. I just wanted to say that always remember they are trying to help, trying to support you…forgive them little mistakes because they too are …read more

Valentine’s Day can be tough for many of us, I know it is for my mum – not that my beloved Dad was a romantic, in fact he usually forgot to even get a card!
But I know it makes my mum feel sad, so I always send a little gift to her…for her to open on this day. In the card, I always say that I am proud of the way she has coped and that I love her more each day….I know it means the world to her because someone shows that they care about her and her feelings.
If …read more

Tifanny has posted her memorial here if people would like to see the man that was most precious to her.
She reminds me that moving on is not forgetting, it is living forward not in the past. You will never lose the stories but you cannot bring him back. That is the acceptance part. Once you can accept the reality, you can start living with him in your heart in a positive way. My dad used to tell me – don’t hold on to the things that you cannot change. That is true, as much as we want to change the …read more