“your life’s footprint’s will not be washed away by the tide of grief”

When our loved ones leave us sometimes I think that we hold on to the memories as tight as we can because we fear if we let go then somehow

• We are doing something wrong
• We may forget them
• Others may forget them

On those days when you feel guilty or you feel fear then remember what I said at Nana’s funeral. They may be gone from our everyday lives but we will NEVER, NEVER forget them from our hearts.

Post from: Widows Quest

I found it hard to walk away, it felt as though life had already moved on and yet Nana was still there….I know it is only her body (Gosh this sounds a bit macabre) but I didn’t want to leave her alone. I had spent all that time at her bedside and now I was walking away from her…

I know what people say….the spirit lives on and in my mum, aunts and uncle she surely will….but I am still a little numb, a little raw today. I keep asking myself

“Does the world REALLY remember you when you have gone? I know I will, I kiss her hankie each night before going to sleep….but will the people who were there yesterday?”

The answer is clearly not on a daily basis and in that sense it is right….the idea of The King is Dead, Long live the king kind of thing, I mean life must carry on….yet when you are so close to someone that feels awful…

I am thinking this is normal, this is grieving…but still it makes you wonder about your own legacy…who will really remember us?

Post from: Widows Quest

In Our Hearts
We thought of you with love today.
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday.
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories.
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake.
With which we’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
We have you in our heart..
author unknown

Four Candles
The first candle represents our grief.
The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
This second candle represents our courage.
To confront our sorrow,
To comfort each other,
To change our lives.
This third candle we light in your memory.
For the times we laughed,
The times we cried,
The times we were angry with each other,
The silly things you did,
The caring and joy you gave us.
This fourth candle we light for our love.
We light this candle that your light will always shine.
As we enter this holiday season and share this night of remembrance
with our family and friends.
We cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you.
We thank you for the gift
your living brought to each of us.
We love you.
We remember you.

Post from: Widows Quest

I digress…

But suffice to say that I never really feel as though I have a lot in common with birds. However, I was reading a wonderful article about magpies and how they suffer grief as well. Wow, you don’t really think of birds as being in pain do you?

“Dr Bekoff said he studied four magpies alongside a magpie corpse and recorded their behaviour.

“One approached the corpse, gently pecked at it…Another magpie did the same thing…Next, one of the magpies flew off, brought back some grass and laid it by the corpse. Another magpie did the same. Then all four stood vigil for a few seconds and one by one flew off.”

After publishing an account of the funeral he received emails from people who had seen the same ritual in magpies, ravens and crows.

“We can’t know what they were actually thinking or feeling, but reading their action there’s no reason not to believe these birds were saying a magpie farewell to their friend,” he wrote in the journal Emotion, Space and Society.”

What made me think was that I often sit here and think….no one really knows how I feel, no one can truly understand my pain…..and now am I thinking…is it me that doesn’t understand, doesn’t understand that grief is truly universal and that pain sees no boundary, not even genetic makeup?

Post from: Widows Quest

In the meantime I thought I would share another grief poem that I saw at a funeral this week

Life Unbroken

Death is nothing at all.

I only slipped into the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still…

Why should I be out of mind becuase I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval.

Somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well….

Henry Scott Holland

[Istockphoto]

Post from: Widows Quest

Yesterday I was at another funeral and they read out a poem called She Is Gone which really made me think about grief and how to cope with the loss of a loved one.

She is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back

or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty becuase you can’t see her

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she’s gone

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on….

Anonymous

.

Post from: Widows Quest

At the funeral today of the wonderful Lucy, I sat in the pew pondering what really is the point of life?

We are born, wishing our time away until we can be a grown up and do grown up things

We leave home and have to work to pay for basic needs

We then have families which need our time

We then start losing the people around us

We then stop working and look forward to retirement…and so often we die!

We seem to spend all our lives believing that enjoyment is just round the corner ?

So it begs the question when do we truly live! I can think of moments, I can think of days but I am not sure that I have ever put the enjoyment of life at the centre of my world or the world of those around me.

How sad is that…..how can we ensure that the only celebration of life is NOT at our funeral. Maybe it is just because I feel that sense of loss today, maybe I am fighting for that meaning to my world, maybe it is because I never truly feel anything but an outsider, maybe it is a combination….

Maybe I just need to start living….

Post from: Widows Quest

It made me think how the one person who probably misses the funeral the most, is always the person we are saying goodbye to… It made me think how I would love to be truly at my own funeral. I would love to see the effect I had on peoples lives, I would love to be there to put my arms around those I love to comfort them. I would love to have the chance to say in my own voice the words that I would want people to hear….

When I think back to our funeral my love was the one person who should have been there, to see the love people felt for him…to see the effect on the world his presence had made…..there just seems something so ironic that the dead are not their to celebrate their own life, and to enjoy the love of the world.

Post from: Widows Quest

I came across an article at Trendhunters about “An entrepreneur named Lynn Isenberg has brought new life to death with novel, personalized funerals” For example,

• A funeral for a lifelong golf enthusiast, for example, includes an end-of-life celebration on the 9th hole, complete with glow-in-the-dark golf balls engraved with the name of the recently deceased.
  
• The wake for an ice cream man from Rockland included, naturally, his ice cream truck, which was parked in front of the funeral home with its bells jingling and lights flashing. The ice cream truck later led the procession to the church and then to the cemetery. After the burial, free ice cream was handed out.
• For her own death she has planned an outdoor showing of To Kill a Mockingbird.

More than ever, my funeral is important to me. I don’t see it as my goodbye, I see it as my final chance to leave a happy memory on the earth – my final chance to make people smile. After all, the thing I love most is a group of family and friends smiling….

[istockphoto]

Post from: Widows Quest

Nicholas Powiull presents Conscious Flex: How to Stay Positive in Negative Situations: by Nicholas Powiull posted at Conscious Flex, saying, “I hope this helps, I am sorry to hear about your loss”

Anna presents Remember Tomorrow Never Comes at The Engaging Brand

Peter presents How To Meditate (& Why it May Help You Overcome Depression) posted at The Change Blog.

Pastor WD Favour presents Transformation By Focus posted at WDFavour.com.

Ralph Jean-Paul presents Meet Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere posted at Potential 2 Success, saying, “Have you ever been in a situation where you missed an opportunity to talk to someone that you wanted to meet? Maybe it was because you didn’t know what to do, how to act or what to say. Meeting anyone anytime or anywhere may sound difficult or improbable, but actually, it’s easier than you might think.”

Joshua Seth presents Stop Procrastinating and Start Getting Things Done | posted at Joshua Seth Blog, saying, “Procrastinating may feel good in the short term because you get to do what you want to do right now, but in the long term it can keep you from getting things done.”

Michael Dan presents The Power and The Force is Higher and Better than Affirmations posted at The Message Of A Master.

Dr. Norm Williams presents Take back your power posted at Dr. Norm.

Daniel Tenner presents How to be great posted at Inter-sections.net.

kenny mc bride presents A Tale of Two People posted at Positive Thinking – A Realistic Approach, saying, “Why is one person’s life so different fom anothers? Why do people with similar incomes and lifestyles have a life that is so different from each other? Why does one person prosper yet another sink? There is one somple answer, do you know what it is?..”

Ishtar presents My mother?s funeral posted at Esther Garvi.

Amit presents Dealing with death posted at Amit, saying, “A way look looking and dealing with death a little differently.”

GP presents Guest What? posted at Innside Montana-Your Home at the Range, saying, “Happiness is really about service above self”

Sally Huss presents Crystal Clear Goals by Sally Huss posted at Sally Huss – Addicted to Happiness!.

Wakish presents Secret to your success! Do you have a vision of who you are & who you want to be ? | Wakish Wonderz posted at Wakish Wonderz.

Daniel Roach presents How to Sell Yourself, or “How to Look Like a Duck” posted at Daniel Roach.Org, saying, “You are a salesman whether you know it, believe it, want it or not. Every day you have to sell everyone you meet on everything you have to offer as a person.”

Anne Maybus presents When the day starts badly posted at mydayoff.com.au, saying, “Thinking positively doesn’t always have to involve large scale changes.”

Peter Murphy presents 9 Great Ways To Deal with Nerves When Meeting People posted at Communication Skills Power.

SeanBissell presents Even Dogs Get De-Motivated posted at Yummy Fitness | Fitness For Fun People.

Applying the Law of Attraction presents Expecting the Best – and Getting It! posted at Applying the Law of Attraction Membership Library, saying, “When it comes to abundance and prosperity, expectations are vitally important. The Law of Attraction teaches us that we tend to receive exactly what we expect in life. Why is this? How do expectations work with the Law of Attraction?”

Alvaro Fernandez presents Your Brain At Work, by the Dana Alliance and the Conference Board posted at SharpBrains, saying, “Simple, practical strategies for incorporating brain-friendly practices into day-to-day life.”

Praveen presents Stretch Out of Your Comfort Zone posted at Tao of Simplicity.

Donald Latumahina presents A Guide to Finding Your Life Purpose posted at Life Optimizer.

Erin Pavlina presents Erin Pavlina’s Blog » Blog Archive » The Path to Purpose posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “People ask me all the time how they can figure out their purpose, their one true path through life. I’m sure there is more than one way to get there, but let me share the method I used to finally find my way. Perhaps it will work for you too.”

Bill Urell presents Improving Spiritual Awareness: 7 Steps To Increase Spiritual Awareness posted at Addiction Recovery Basics, saying, “Are you aware that there are concrete steps you can take to increase your spiriitual awareness? Read on to discover 7 actionable steps.”

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Post from: Widows Quest