I was inspired to write this post after seeing some wonderful comments from Maggie and Leslie in response to the post Eternal Love. Leslie wrote
“I think what I am doing lately is thinking too far in the future and all I can see is a life of loneliness. I should be concentrating on each day as it comes and I have had some really good ones lately.”
Grief is strange, we are dealing with the past…today…and trying to find a way of enjoying the future. So how do we do that? This is what helps me

I have written down a sentence which …read more

Just a quick note to say I have set up a widows quest wiki so that we can all type in when we could make our montly grief support group. If you go over to Widows Quest Wiki then click on easy edit will you type under each timing whether you can make it or not? I would like to find a time when main commenters who want to participate can make it as it would be lovely to speak to you all. If you have any issues with adding your comments to the wiki just email me.
In the meantime …read more

When I write the Widows Quest blog I write with 5 wishes in mind

That a post will help that person sitting alone, thinking of giving up, that there is hope.
That we build a community of grief support, that means there is someone here for every grieving person. No one needs to be truly alone.
That through my growth I show people that there is a way of finding a new life.
That through my honesty, I show people that for each 2 steps forward we will suffer a step back. That is normal and that it is a long process…but that we …read more

I spoke to mum today about what she would say were the 3 key things that helped her get over dad dying. Here are her 3 key steps

 Accepting his death. Accepting that it was better that he has gone than him suffering as much as he was…no matter how strong the pain, the pain would have been worse watching him suffer.
Allowing friends to persuade her to go out…”giving in” and as much as she did not want to go out, forcing herself into social situations.
The power of the telephone and talking to her friends – it provided comfort and also …read more

When you lose someone you love, you discover a lot about yourself. I wanted to share with you what I have learned during the bereavement process.
D= Determined to continue to live life to the fullest – and not waste the precious time we have on this earth.
I= Inner thoughts are so important. Your self talk is so strong, the more you can change the way you talk to yourself in a positive way, the more you start to move forward.
S= Sentimental! I never used to keep things, now I treasure all the little mementos.
C= Courage. It would be easy to …read more

Today, I have felt so down. I cannot see anything but darkness, I couldn’t even remember where my keys were this morning – and I leave them in the same place everyday. Why do I share this with you, well…

I always try and write Widows Quest positively to help you see that there is a future. I hope that sharing my bad day will help you see that, you are not alone with the darkness. No matter how far you have come, no matter how hard you try, the darkness can fall – it happens to us all, you are …read more