Anniversaries of losing someone is strange.

Why is any day any more important than any other…when missing someone?
Time in some ways helps you cope with anniversaries but never takes away the pain.

I also find that the biggest benefit is that other people give you space, they understand that you may not be 100%, they accept more easily that you are grieving.
The rest of the time although you clearly will never get over the pain, people who don’t understand grief think that you should be progressing back to …what would you say ‘normality’? Mind you that then begs the question what …read more

The 5th of November, 6 years ago at 8.08pm was a sad day for our family. We lost Dad who was such a wonderful gentleman..and gentle man. I will never forget being there with mum as he said goodbye to the world with fireworks lighting up the earth (It is Bonfire night in the UK on the 5th) We always liked to think of that as the world celebrating his life and sending him on his way with such a fitting tribute.
Today I am in London, away from my special mum who I know reads this blog. I hope that …read more

It was Gandhi who made this comment and do you know I feel it is as apt for widows and widowers as it is for people wanting to make societal or political change.
Readers know that I am on a constant roller coaster of emotion…that little old lady called grief manages to shake me to the core every now and then, just to remind me that overcoming a bereavement is hard. So just when it seems easier, just when I seem to be back in control of my own emotions….grief prods me to remind me that it is still there …read more

A wonderful comment came from Rae to the post Happy Halloween about a feeling which I have had on a couple of occasions.  The feeling is that suddenly you forget that they have passed away, that you feel their presence, that you suddenly see them or sense them in the house.
I remember after about 3 months getting so mad that he wasn’t replying or coming through to the lounge when I needed some help to move the television! I had no idea that he had died, to me at that moment he was alive and even annoying (!) as he …read more

After the flu a few weeks ago, well actually a chest infection, this week I have finally started to get myself sorted out…a little. Oh isn’t life or grief, such a rollercoaster…..
To help us all as normal on a Sunday here are this weeks articles to help us with our positive thinking
Anna presents What Do Your Eyes Tell A Person posted at The Engaging Brand
GP presents Changes in Latitude « Musings from Montana posted at Manely Montana, saying, “changes in attitude.. make all the difference”

Cheryl Ragsdale presents Here’s Everything You Need to Know About Saying Yes or Saying No posted …read more

Losing someone you love makes you think about the need for love so deep inside all human beings. Last night I went over to stay with mum ahead of a meeting I was having near her…..and it struck me that as a child you spend much of the time wanting others to see you grown up, wanting to fall in love, wanting to be ‘treated like an adult’.
The irony is that as you become that adult, as you go through the joys and sorrows of life, you value that support and looking after of others. Last night I went home, …read more

I often say that in death you learn so much about life. Before being faced with death, you can be so wrapped up with the big things without even knowing it….
For me, grief has highlighted the importance of the little things in life …..when I say the little things, small aspects of life which have a BIG impact. It has highlighted the little things from two perspectives

Looking back, what do I miss the most…the little things. Holding my hand when I don’t expect it, cuddling on the sofa, the smile, their warmth in bed, the laughing at the in joke….
And …read more

Walking in town today, I looked at the wonderful shades of the trees and thought how nature has this fabulous way of defining moods, defining life, defining change….through shades.
Grief should be based on fact in a way. It is based on a factual happening – that person you love has died. Yet, grief is not matter of fact, grief is not an exact science….grief is all the shades of autumn.
Bereavement and that sense of loss stirs emotions which are on a full spectrum of pain, and those leaves I looked at today almost reflected the rainbow of grief.

The vibrant reds …read more

An unusual post today as I was prompted to write about this following an email which I received recently.
I have always said I feel lucky to have loved and talked a lot about the pain of losing that love and the greif that follows….but I was asked
“What do you think is worse…losing the love of your life through death or having the love of your life leave in this world?”
Gosh, that is a difficult one and first of I would say they are both grief….both are situations about loss.
I wonder what you all think ?
For me I actually think the …read more

Now a fact not many of you will know but I am absolutely phobic about birds….chickens to be precise but it has now widened to all birds. This phobia stemming from a wonderful cockerel which pecked me beautifully on the knee when I was a youngster.
I digress…
But suffice to say that I never really feel as though I have a lot in common with birds. However, I was reading a wonderful article about magpies and how they suffer grief as well. Wow, you don’t really think of birds as being in pain do you?
“Dr Bekoff said he studied four magpies …read more