Anniversaries of losing someone is strange.

Why is any day any more important than any other…when missing someone?
Time in some ways helps you cope with anniversaries but never takes away the pain.

I also find that the biggest benefit is that other people give you space, they understand that you may not be 100%, they accept more easily that you are grieving.
The rest of the time although you clearly will never get over the pain, people who don’t understand grief think that you should be progressing back to …what would you say ‘normality’? Mind you that then begs the question what …read more

I came across this poem about grief today, not sure who wrote it but maybe it will provide some comfort to anyone grieving

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with too many tears,
But be thankful we had so many good years.
I gave you my love, and you can only guess
How much you’ve given me in happiness.
I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it is time I traveled on alone.
So grieve for me a while, if grieve …read more

There are days when the world seems black
When nothing seems right, when all hope is lost
Then I come here to our Widows community
And you my friends, hold my heart until it can beat once more

I fear, I grieve, I miss, I long, I struggle to breathe
Nothing will get me through this pain
Then I come here to our Widows Quest community
And you hold my heart until it can beat once more, on its own

I want you to know that you are my friends
My guiding lights from the dark tunnel of death
I want you to know dear friends that
Whenever your heart needs …read more

In the UK, the leader of the opposition David Cameron and his wife suffered the loss of their child yesterday. Politics stopped for the day as the country realised one thing – that death always puts any problems into context. I have suffered with my grief but without the worlds press looking on at me. When something like this happens I cannot imagine what it must be like to grieve in the public eye….
The pain of losing a child is immense, my thoughts go out to anyone in this position. Often I say that death is natural, death is part …read more

As you know it was the anniversary of Dad’s death last week, Mum coped really well. I phoned her on the night and she was really cheerful, laughing with my Aunt. She said, “Oh Anna, this one date is no more important than all the other days in the year. I miss him every day.”Then last night, I phoned her to hear great sobbing at the other end of the phone. She had been away at my Aunt’s last week and that I believe that had helped her cope with the annivesary. When she returned home, she was engulfed with loneliness, depression …read more

I have never been a person who is frightened, yet when you grieve the loss of a loved one, suddenly fears surface that you never imagine. Fear of being alone, of the future, of the dark, of socialising, of going out…..together we have to face the fear
F = Fear lessons when we break it down. We can say we are fearful of the future….then think about what specifically frightens you…the future is too general. Is it money, is it being alone, is it the odd jobs around the house! Then develop a plan of how you will cope with the …read more

I wrote about this on my other blog – The Engaging Brand but wanted to share it with you as well. When we grieve, when we lose people that we love, then we can all suffer from people not understanding or even family disputes happening when people forget the feelings of others. Let me share a story

Mum has a large garden. She is 78 and struggling to keep on top of the garden. I live 80 minutes drive away so I can only go back once a week/fortnight to help out. Anyway, this week gave me a strong lesson in …read more

When we grieve we can become angry, we can hate what has happened to us and our loved ones. Anger is a normal reaction, however I am always reminded of a quote from Mahatma Ghandi
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
As widows and widowers we need to be strong and being able to forgive the death that has affected our lives so much is the first step to starting to rebuild our lives.
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Agatha Christie said
“I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find – at the age of fifty, say – that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about…It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.”
When we lose our spouse especially later in life, we can draw the conclusion that there is nothing left for us. Interestingly, my mum who was 78 this week has more hobbies and …read more

I posted yesterday about Is there life after death, and Diane wrote such wonderful words that I wanted to share them with you. She also left a link to the Waterbug story
“I believe that the loss of a loved one does change you forever but that the change isn’t always a bad thing. The days will come when the smiles will take over the tears when talking about our loved ones. Everything we go though in  this life as an affect on us death is no different.”
It was the last sentence that made me really think…”everything we got through….has …read more