Anniversaries of losing someone is strange.

Why is any day any more important than any other…when missing someone?
Time in some ways helps you cope with anniversaries but never takes away the pain.

I also find that the biggest benefit is that other people give you space, they understand that you may not be 100%, they accept more easily that you are grieving.
The rest of the time although you clearly will never get over the pain, people who don’t understand grief think that you should be progressing back to …what would you say ‘normality’? Mind you that then begs the question what …read more

Oh dear I have slipped today, after such a good week – but hey isn’t that what grieving is all about?
This week is such a bad week for me I need to be in 3 places at once, most days and I am feeling totally out of control. I wish that I didn’t have to balance so many competing things….
When you get out of control, doesn’t it feel so depressing? You start to feel as though no one values YOU, that you seem to spend your life pleasing other people, accommodating other people…but who is there now for YOU? (Widows …read more

I have just updated the support meeting wiki as I can’t make the session tonight. I was so looking forward to speaking to you all, there hasn’t been a call when you haven’t lifted my spirits and given me the courage to carry on the grieving fight. I came home early as I have the onset of flu, shiver – can’t get warm, barking cough and absolutely no energy.
I am sure an early night will suffice and I will be back fighting fit tomorrow….and of course I will rearrange the session.
I just want to give my heartfelt apologies….I so didn’t …read more

I was speaking to a widow a couple of weeks ago who said “I wish i didn’t hurt so much”
I smiled and said “Did you love him?”
She answered “With all my heart”
I asked “Are you glad you shared your love with him?”
She smiled and said “I could never regret loving him”
So I turned and said “Then remember that hurt is based on love and to not hurt that much, then you wouldn’t have loved as much. Hurt is love seeping from your heart when it is grieving. Don’t fear it, don’t wish it wasn’t there…as it means you were lucky …read more

Sharing is an important part of the grief process – sharing our feelings, our fears, our thoughts and therefore each Sunday I post articles sent to me which will help us through our bereavement through positive thinking techniques. Here are this weeks articles
Krisdyn presents How to Help the Grieving posted at A Beautiful Life.

Nina presents Ten Powerful Inspirational Quotes and Reflections About Success posted at Metaphysical Teachers, saying, “Sayings and quotes about success can have a powerful effect on you. If you take the time to think about the deeper meaning behind the words, you’ll realize how easily you …read more

It has been a while since I jotted down my thoughts. Tonight grief is leaving me numb…not happy, not sad just numb..I wrote this down and maybe you will connect with this kind of grieving
When we face those days when we don’t know how
To face the world and carry on
We must remember that life is a gift to all
And remember to smile and stand up tall
A smile can wash away the fears
And a hug from a friend take away the tears
Grief is not easy but then life is hard too
It is not what we think it is what we all …read more

Grieving is so hard to explain, that I wonder why as human beings we even try to explain? Maybe it is just me but somehow I want to try and explain the feeling and in reality there are no words that fully describe bereavement, mainly because it changes so fluidly.
It just made me think how for all the words we have in the world, we cannot explain
It just made me think how for all the words in the world why try, as it won’t help someone understand unless they have suffered the same grief?
It just made me think that we …read more

I came across this poem about grief today, not sure who wrote it but maybe it will provide some comfort to anyone grieving

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with too many tears,
But be thankful we had so many good years.
I gave you my love, and you can only guess
How much you’ve given me in happiness.
I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it is time I traveled on alone.
So grieve for me a while, if grieve …read more

Grieving means that we need to find a way of facing our future. Often people refer to letting go of the past and this can feel uncomfortable as a widow or widower. We don’t feel like – or ready to – let go of the memories and love. You can feel in some way guilty of moving on, in some way that the memories are the only thing left and if we give those up…then what?
It dawned on me when having our Widows Support Group, that are we really trying to let go? Or are we trying to let in?
Letting …read more

When we talked on our monthly Widows Quest telephone call in, we talked about how some of us were expected to be strong. I was one of those people, I am quite easy going, I tend to see the positive in dark times….and so when anyone dies around me I am expected to be strong….
Or am I?
After I came off the call, I thought do others expect me to be strong in grief and help them cope with bereavement or do I?
You know when I think about it…and if I am being completely honest!….I think it comes from me. No …read more