I found it hard to walk away, it felt as though life had already moved on and yet Nana was still there….I know it is only her body (Gosh this sounds a bit macabre) but I didn’t want to leave her alone. I had spent all that time at her bedside and now I was walking away from her…

I know what people say….the spirit lives on and in my mum, aunts and uncle she surely will….but I am still a little numb, a little raw today. I keep asking myself

“Does the world REALLY remember you when you have gone? I know I will, I kiss her hankie each night before going to sleep….but will the people who were there yesterday?”

The answer is clearly not on a daily basis and in that sense it is right….the idea of The King is Dead, Long live the king kind of thing, I mean life must carry on….yet when you are so close to someone that feels awful…

I am thinking this is normal, this is grieving…but still it makes you wonder about your own legacy…who will really remember us?

Post from: Widows Quest

“Life is a series of memories, life is about creating those memories”

I then asked so what is death all about

“No one knows but for those left behind it is about cherishing those memories”

She told me the best way to live life was to think about each day and put into your memory box (thoughts) the precious moments which you want to keep. That way on bad days you have a store of happiness to recharge the batteries.

I always loved this idea that life is a series of memories, and if when you are grieving it can be a wonderful way to think about your loss. After all we may not have their wisdom, or their presence but we do have their love and we have their wisdom through memories.

Grief is natural but lets never let that cloud the joy of having them in our lives.

Post from: Widows Quest

When you love someone, it is not just about loving them whilst you are together, it is also about loving them enough to let them go. I have sat now 11 hrs short of a week at this bedside..even sleeping here….and what I have learned is that love is not about holding on in grief, love is about letting go in grief.

I have said to Nana so many times when she has been at the brink, don’t be scared….don’t be frightened…it will be OK, however we don’t say that to ourselves do we?

Love is about 2 people and you are one of them…whilst grieving we should maybe talk to ourselves and say don’t be scared, don’t be frightened…because just in the same way, love will guide us to a better place.

Post from: Widows Quest

1. Why is any day any more important than any other…when missing someone?
2. Time in some ways helps you cope with anniversaries but never takes away the pain.

I also find that the biggest benefit is that other people give you space, they understand that you may not be 100%, they accept more easily that you are grieving.

The rest of the time although you clearly will never get over the pain, people who don’t understand grief think that you should be progressing back to …what would you say ‘normality’? Mind you that then begs the question what is normal anyway

Somehow on an anniversary which in many ways to the widow and widower is just another day of heartache…the world stops judging you and allows you to grieve….they send cards, maybe ring, give you a hug….

In a way this seems harsh and yet I think the world is right…if the world constantly tiptoes round us then we will never get through the grief cycle?

How do you feel about anniversaries?

Post from: Widows Quest

This week is such a bad week for me I need to be in 3 places at once, most days and I am feeling totally out of control. I wish that I didn’t have to balance so many competing things….

When you get out of control, doesn’t it feel so depressing? You start to feel as though no one values YOU, that you seem to spend your life pleasing other people, accommodating other people…but who is there now for YOU? (Widows Quest community accepted of course)

I was thinking tonight about how to pull myself through this…and came up with one key thought. When you are out of control, the only thing is to

1. Make a list of actions with critical dates
2. Prioritize them (based on the dates for me)
3. Take each action one at a time
4. Don’t waste time panicking, use that time to grab your control back

The good news is that this makes total sense, the bad news is that I still feel alone and fearful….grieving can strip that belief you can achieve the impossible away, I need to make my first action….find where that self belief has gone for the moment

Post from: Widows Quest

I am sure an early night will suffice and I will be back fighting fit tomorrow….and of course I will rearrange the session.

I just want to give my heartfelt apologies….I so didn’t want to put my PC on but I couldn’t go to bed until I had said that I am so sorry…. I suppose just evidence of me talking my own advice….listen to your body!

Post from: Widows Quest

I was speaking to a widow a couple of weeks ago who said “I wish i didn’t hurt so much”

I smiled and said “Did you love him?”

She answered “With all my heart”

I asked “Are you glad you shared your love with him?”

She smiled and said “I could never regret loving him”

So I turned and said “Then remember that hurt is based on love and to not hurt that much, then you wouldn’t have loved as much. Hurt is love seeping from your heart when it is grieving. Don’t fear it, don’t wish it wasn’t there…as it means you were lucky in life because you were lucky in love.”

Post from: Widows Quest

Sharing is an important part of the grief process – sharing our feelings, our fears, our thoughts and therefore each Sunday I post articles sent to me which will help us through our bereavement through positive thinking techniques. Here are this weeks articles

Krisdyn presents How to Help the Grieving posted at A Beautiful Life.

Nina presents Ten Powerful Inspirational Quotes and Reflections About Success posted at Metaphysical Teachers, saying, “Sayings and quotes about success can have a powerful effect on you. If you take the time to think about the deeper meaning behind the words, you’ll realize how easily you can apply these sayings into your own life to achieve the success you desire.”

Paula Kawal presents Angels Speak posted at Journey Inward Productions, saying, “The Angels are giving me more and more information. They say that the world is in desperate need of healing and the call of every human being currently on the planet revolves around this in some way or form.”

Erin Pavlina presents Law of Attraction and the Role of Action posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “Recently someone asked me if you have to take action once you set an intention using the Law of Attraction (LOA) or if you can just set the intention and go on about your merry way.”

Celes presents Get Motivated in 10 Surefire Ways posted at EmbraceLiving.Net, saying, “Do you feel like you are lacking motivation in life now? Being in a slump can be quite a frustrating experience – I know because I’ve been there before too. Here’s 10 surefire ways to increase your motivation.”

Scientific Living presents How to Tell Your Own Future posted at Scientific Living, saying, “How to scientifically tell what is going to happen in your future, why, and how to alter it.”

Catherine VanWetter presents To the Heart of the Matter – Inner Peace Tip: Choosing Faith over Fear posted at To The Heart of the Matter, saying, “At times I think about what faith is too much and discover that is a way to get hung up in the details of faith rather than trusting the divine unfolding. How to enter your day with intention.”

Broderick Allen presents Overwhelmed? posted at Broderick Allen – Personal Growth and Enjoying Life’s Journey.

Stephen Martile presents The Unconscious Mind Power Series 2 posted at FreedomEducation.ca by Stephen Martile, saying, “The purpose of this video is to show you how beliefs are formed and where they come from. This is an important step so that you can understand how to reprogram your unconscious mind and create new beliefs.”

Ken Siew presents CHANGE You Believe In Weekly Series #2 – Belief posted at Think Big & Think Money – Guide to Success & Wealth, saying, “Think bigger than you are. If you want to succeed in life, you have to change your old stinking beliefs first! Believe this – YOU have huge potential.”

Donald Latumahina presents Proven Principles for Managing Your Energy posted at Life Optimizer.

Andrew Heath presents On Starting Before We’re Ready posted at Andrew Heath

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our
carnival submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest

When we face those days when we don’t know how

To face the world and carry on

We must remember that life is a gift to all

And remember to smile and stand up tall

A smile can wash away the fears

And a hug from a friend take away the tears

Grief is not easy but then life is hard too

It is not what we think it is what we all do

And how do we find that will to pull through

Remember them looking and saying “I love you”

They are looking over us from heaven above

Continuing to support through our eternal love

Post from: Widows Quest

It just made me think how for all the words we have in the world, we cannot explain

It just made me think how for all the words in the world why try, as it won’t help someone understand unless they have suffered the same grief?

It just made me think that we would hurt so much less if we just didn’t think!

Post from: Widows Quest