In Love with Memories

Anna Farmery — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 19:10:38 +0000

We have some wonderful people in our Widows Quest community. One of those people is Leslie who has just moved into a new house, you can read her feelings in the comments to Grief Has Made Me Emotional.

I cried when I read her thoughts..why? Because I hate people hurting…I so wish that I had a magic bereavement wand that would take away all our pain.

But it made me think about how we emotionally attach to objects….mmmm…but then is it really the object that we attach to? In Leslie’s case it is a house, with me it is a jumper! But when you think about it, we are not really attached to the object we are attached to the memories.

When you think about it, memories are movable…..maybe what we need to do is realise that the object is only a trigger to the memory? Therefore if we find a new trigger than we retain the happy memories….

Post from: Widows Quest

Don’t Forget the Good Times

Anna Farmery — Tue, 26 May 2009 18:17:12 +0000

The memory that remains so etched on my mind are those final hours, which I can understand. However, as widows and widowers we need to look past the pain so that the painful end to our shared life, doesn’t define our love. When you think about it, you will have been with your partner for years, months, weeks in which we shared laughs and love so intense. Yet we can lose all those happy times because of the pain of their death.

So the easy thing is to say remember the happier times…yet that brings pain too as you ache for those times still to be possible!

It is so strange….almost it is easier to cope with the pain of the death than the pain of the happy memories!

Maybe the trick in grief is to balance the two – coping with the pain of loss with the memories of the happier times?

Post from: Widows Quest

Widows Quest » happy memories

In Love with Memories

Don’t Forget the Good Times