Ever since I suffered my bereavement, I have had a mixed recollection of memories. Let me explain…
I can remember feelings, I can remember places, I can remember events and yet I cannot remember his face. The only memory that I have is that of him dying in the hospital, it is as though my mind has blocked out any other memories I have….I thought with time they would return and yet no….they remain elusive.
At first I hated it, I wanted to remember the smile, the face, they eyes….and now I wonder whether it is a good thing? The fact that …read more

I said that I would share stories that I have learned whilst being in hospital. On the ward with me is a lovely older lady who lost her husband a couple of years ago. We were talking about grief and she said that being ill scared her. I asked why, and she said”Because my rock is no longer here to hold my hand and say that everything will be OK. The strange thing is that I was the rock in our relationship, the strong one…but my strength came through our love“She had tears in her eyes, as she described how …read more

Oooh what a few days – I had to come into hospital on Sunday night – after posting the Positive Thinking Carnival (How ironic is that!) which is why I haven’t been blogging these last couple of days. I am still in the hospital awaiting more tests, but have managed to persuade a friend to smuggle in my computer to keep me company. You see I miss you all.You know we take health so for granted, maybe less so widows and widowers, but when you find yourself not knowing what is wrong and just wishing for a pain free hour then you …read more