Widows Quest » hug

How to help a grieving widow or widower

Anna Farmery — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:02:21 +0000

Grief is hard not only for us but also for those around us. I often get asked what people should do for someone who has lost a family member.

Time and a hug are always great gifts but do you know what I appreciated most? Shopping!

My best friends from childhood came round with a weekly shop, she looked at me and said “I bet it is the last thing on your mind and you need to stay healthy”

Wow, do you know it was wonderful as I couldn’t face shopping – all those people, all those small decisions to make and of course starting to buy for one.

So as daft as it sounds shopping was a wonderful thoughtful gesture for me – what about you?

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Kiss Your Baby Every Single Day

Anna Farmery — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 07:41:26 +0000

I was touched by a story in the newspaper about a mother who lost her babies when her suicidal dad killed them. She had a piece of advice for use all. Kerrie Hughes said

”I would like to tell every mother that no matter how busy your days are, tell your babies how much you love them with a hug and a kiss every day”

So true, our busy lives often create complacency. We put off until tomorrow what we meant to say today. I do love this idea and I make sure that I live this each day now. I tell my mum every day how much I love her…..as soon as I do, I feel better as I know that she feels the love that I have….

[istockphoto]

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Living the Legacy

Anna Farmery — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 12:31:15 +0000

I was thinking today about our life together and what legacy he has left me in my grief. Here are my Top 10 legacy statements from my lost love – I would love to hear yours

See the good in people – life is a treasure hunt for goodness.
Love is the ultimate gift
Do one thing each day that helps the world
Never go to sleep without healing the rift
Laughing is the best remedy for all life’s problems
Love like tomorrow will never come
To be interesting, be interested in others
A hug a day, keeps the feeling of being “taking for granted” at bay
Together you can achieve more
Listening is the best gift in the world

He taught me so much, I miss his insights so much. I have put these on my screen saver so I keep his learnings with me…What would your Top 5 or Top 10 learnings from being in love be?

[istockphoto]

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Our Heart Needs Warmth

Anna Farmery — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:34:56 +0000

One thing I miss is the physical warmth of being close to another person – a hug, holding hands, a smile. I miss the warmth that runs through my body, that feeling of complete unconditional love. How do I try and fill that gap…

Well, I try and reach out to family and friends more. For instance, Mum and I rarely hugged before my Dad died now we hug when I go in and when I leave. I had not realised that that physical transfer of love was so important. I now value a hug, a smile much more than I did before. Does it replace the love of my loved one, of course not…however it heals the pain slightly and also brings more value to the relationship.

What do you do to fill that physical gap?

[photo from iStockphoto]

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