I found it hard to walk away, it felt as though life had already moved on and yet Nana was still there….I know it is only her body (Gosh this sounds a bit macabre) but I didn’t want to leave her alone. I had spent all that time at her bedside and now I was walking away from her…

I know what people say….the spirit lives on and in my mum, aunts and uncle she surely will….but I am still a little numb, a little raw today. I keep asking myself

“Does the world REALLY remember you when you have gone? I know I will, I kiss her hankie each night before going to sleep….but will the people who were there yesterday?”

The answer is clearly not on a daily basis and in that sense it is right….the idea of The King is Dead, Long live the king kind of thing, I mean life must carry on….yet when you are so close to someone that feels awful…

I am thinking this is normal, this is grieving…but still it makes you wonder about your own legacy…who will really remember us?

Post from: Widows Quest

• Amaze me at how the outpouring of grief over someone we didn’t know
• Amaze me at how the families cope when the worlds press is looking at them
• Amaze me that despite the many wishes to rest in peace, the world seems to not want to let them rest in peace!

I came across a compelling article in Time Magazine about The Top Celebrity Grave Sites. It shows the graves of celebrities such as Bob Marley, Princess Diana, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe etc

It tells stories around their deaths but one stood out for me and that is Frank Sinatra whose tombstone reads

“The best is yet to come”

I think the greatest legacy we can bring to those who have passed away, be it those close to us or a celebrity….is to make the world  a better place for years to come…..

Post from: Widows Quest

Not in the sense that I could see she was not perfect but because she wasn’t perfect! So many times on television you see the “perfect” celebrity who makes you feel inadequate somehow…she was imperfect and that is why I related to her.

I also learned a few things which I still try to do to this day

• She made time for people.
• She didn’t judge people she met in her capacity as a royal. Anyone who came to meet her got the same level of attention.
• She always bent down to speak to people at eye level – children, disabled, bed ridden – as a way of connecting.
• She touched people. Who can not forget her shaking the hands of the Aids victims when the world was treating them like lepers?
• She put her family first…..

Each year I remember her passing and think about whether I am continuing her legacy of compassion. Each year I think, Ok sometimes but as always we need to try harder….

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1. I put my goals on post it notes and spread them around the house -  the bathroom mirror, the fridge door etc. This means that the dreams are constantly in my eye line and that they help me to stay positive.
2. I put my legacy as my screensaver on my PC.
3. I have put my goals into my diary….I have spread them throughout the year.
4. Near to the goals I have put photo’s up which show me happy, laughing. I have deliberately chosen photos which are just me….to remind me of the feeling of being happy.
5. I have asked my best friend to email me regularly to ask me how I am doing against the goals. I think the fact that I have shared them means that they are more real.

Bereavement is hard, and we have to find ways of replacing the depression with happy thoughts…this is how I do it….do any of you do anything similar?

Post from: Widows Quest

I was inspired to write this post after seeing some wonderful comments from Maggie and Leslie in response to the post Eternal Love. Leslie wrote

“I think what I am doing lately is thinking too far in the future and all I can see is a life of loneliness. I should be concentrating on each day as it comes and I have had some really good ones lately.”

Grief is strange, we are dealing with the past…today…and trying to find a way of enjoying the future. So how do we do that? This is what helps me

• I have written down a sentence which I would love to be mylegacy when I die. I have then put 5 things that I need to do, for people to recognise that legacy. This gives me a dream.
• I then write down a plan for the progress I want to make over the next 12 months with 4 action points.
• I then each month think of what steps I need to be taking to achieve my 12 month aim.

Does it work…not every day!!!…But it gives me something to get up for, something to hope for and on good days gives me a purpose. I don’t know if it will help your grieving process but I thought I would share it with other Widows and Widowers.

Maybe we could talk about this at our online grief support meeting on 10 July?

Post from: Widows Quest

The more that I think, the more I believe that life is not about making a living, it is greater than that….it is about creating a lifelong legacy. Of course we need money to feed some basic needs, but we need love more….we need to live more….And when you think about it, we may have lost our love…but that is the person NOT the feeling.

When you meet people who are infectious in their happiness or their contentedness….what is it that they have? They have come to terms with living, they have put living at their core of their existence, they don’t fear life…they fear not living.

Faced with seeing first hand, death….that should be our motivation to embrace life.

Post from: Widows Quest

1.  See the good in people – life is a treasure hunt for goodness.
2. Love is the ultimate gift
3. Do one thing each day that helps the world
4. Never go to sleep without healing the rift
5. Laughing is the best remedy for all life’s problems
6. Love like tomorrow will never come
7. To be interesting, be interested in others
8. A hug a day, keeps the feeling of being “taking for granted” at bay
9. Together you can achieve more
10. Listening is the best gift in the world

He taught me so much, I miss his insights so much. I have put these on my screen saver so I keep his learnings with me…What would your Top 5 or Top 10 learnings from being in love be? 

[istockphoto] 

Post from: Widows Quest

So to help us over the next week is the normal set of Sunday articles to help us think positively

Andrew Heath presents Privilege to Be with a Loved One at the Time of Death posted at Andy, saying, “My dad was one of my greatest heroes. This is my tribute to his legacy.”

Fruitpunch presents A relationship to last a lifetime posted at Fruit Punch Diary.

Alexander De Foe presents Supercharge Your Creative Power posted at SpiritualBlog.com.

Anna presents How to be a successful failure posted at The Engaging Brand 

Patrick Schwerdtfeger presents Are you capable of success? posted at Tactical Execution, saying, “The first step in success is a belief system that supports the achievement of that objective.”

Dereck presents How to become what you want to become, in about two days posted at I Will Not Die.

John Wolfe presents Freeing Ourselves of Guilt posted at Wind of the Soul.

Gary Evans presents 3 Ways To Detach From An Outcome posted at Good To Feel Good.

Adam presents Excellence Vs Perfection – Are You Sabotaging Yourself? posted at Let Us Grow.

GreatManagement presents Get Rid Of Your Bad Habits Once And For All posted at The GreatManagement Blog, saying, “Make changing your habits easy”

Chris Edgar presents Releasing Our Need To Be “Taken Seriously” posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “Transitioning to a career that has us feel more fulfilled—and overcoming the anxieties in the way of the change—is a big achievement. Unfortunately, making this kind of transition usually doesn’t render our lives anxiety-free. One of our big post-transition worries is often that people no longer “take us seriously.” In this article, I talk about how we can transcend this fear by putting our attention on what we’re contributing in our new career rather than how it’s perceived.”

Peter Murphy presents How to Find Inspiration When You Need to Get Motivated posted at Get Motivated Stay Motivated, saying, “This is a practical article on how to find inspiration when you need to get into action. I hope your carnival readers will find it useful. Good luck with the carnival!”

Crystal Nichols presents You are blessed. Now act like it! posted at Christian in the Corporate World.

David B. Bohl presents Note to Your Inner Child: Childlike and Childish Are Not the Same Thing posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Too many people confuse connecting with their inner child and living irresponsibility or cultivating a lack of maturity.”

Michael Miles presents The Silva Mind Control Method posted at Effortless Wealth and Abundance.

Heather Johnson presents How Positive is Positive Reinforcement? posted at Professor Luongo’s Blog Site.

CG Walters presents Union of Twin Flames Changes Reality posted at Into the Mist, saying, “Cause and effect are not linear. Change, or an unfolding horizon, seeks out the most receptive individuals in which to manifest its own beginning.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest

“Galba sleep tight, we will miss you hugely and thank you for leaving such wonderful emotional footprints all over the world”

 Galba was a wonderful, giving man.. what is strange is that I never met him, yet called him a friend. Isn’t that a strange part of social media, blogging, podcasting etc. I had interviewed him for my podcast about emotional intelligence only a couple of weeks ago…despite the thousands of miles between us, social media brought us together.

It also made me think about how blogging, podcasting is part of our legacy. When I die there will be my thoughts living on forever, an insight into how I thought, how I felt….for generations to come. Galba may have passed away but his voice lives on, his words live on….Maybe at the moment it would be too raw for his family, but I hope that they will provide comfort in the years ahead. I know I wish I could hear my loved ones voice again…it is one thing I miss the most.

In the meantime the blogosphere has lost a true gentleman, the world has lost a good heart….however the world is a better place..a “brighter” place for a little Galba magic 

Post from: Widows Quest

R = Remember the good times and think what you brought to them so that you can learn about what makes you and those around you happy.

E = Emotions. Reflect on the strength of yor love. How love has affected your life and understand that love is a wonderful asset to have had in your life and therefore in the future.

F = Friends. I am a great believer that it is during the bad times that you find your true friends. Reflect on your friendships before and after your bereavement and ensure you are valuing the right ones.

L = Learn how important it is to express the way that you feel with someone. Learn to use that going forward so that people know they are loved.

E = Ensure that you don’t reflect on just the good times. There were times that you argued…what were they? Were they really as important as they felt at the time? Learn that it is not the small things that are important and resolve that you will keep them in perspective in the future.

C = Create a legacy for your loved one. Take the memories of who they are and create something in the future that will allow their legacy to live on

T = Try to separate fact from fiction. Try and separate what you can change from what you cannot change. Being truthful to yourself is so important and that reflection will allow you to move on with your life.

Reflection can be emotive and cause depression. However if we take the thoughts and turn them into personal change, personal growth then we can turn a bad feeling into something that brings value into our lives.

Post from: Widows Quest