As widows and widowers, we know how fragile life actually is…in that fragility lies pain. Yet if you think of fragility, isn’t that what makes life so precious ? It is the not knowing, the sense that life doesn’t last forever, the sense that it can all be taken away from us at any moment. If you think of fine art, the fragility of porcelain actually increases it’s value….isn’t that the same for human life?
There is a paradox in grief, the pain comes from the fragility….the joy we had came from the fragility of being human. In a sense joy …read more

It was my birthday yesterday and I have to say I found it VERY hard. It was one of those days when the world seemed to be against me. However, that is the bad news! I allowed myself a little wallowing and today I said to myself
“Look, life is life. Every one of us faces problems, every one of us feels lonely. It is not what you feel, it is how you react. You can either sit back and let life’s problems define you as a person or you can stand up and say ” No, life is what you …read more

Thinking about life today, I wondered….
Can you really define love in life, or does it need death to truly define your love?
I think I thought I could define love during life but now I think it needs death to define that love for you…what do you think?

Yes, if it means not losing our loved ones, but then I wonder what the world would be like…

Wouldn’t it be too perfect if we could turn the clocks back each time we make a mistake or something goes wrong?
Would we lose the human nature of being an imperfect human!
There would be no death….there would be no circle of life….we would just die when the worlds resources could not cope anymore, which would be an even longer, painful death.
Would we be in danger of not growing as people. Isn’t it through the hard times that you learn the most about …read more

Today I went to the door to collect the mail and there it was…a letter for him. It has been over 3 years and it has been a long time since I received a letter so it shuck me to the core. The worse thing is that it was for life insurance!
I sometimes think that life throws these little reminders to see how strong your heart is…..they are like checkmarks to see how your grief is progressing, to see how you are coping with your loss.
To some it was junk mail, to me it was the test of my strength …read more

Agatha Christie said
“I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find – at the age of fifty, say – that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about…It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.”
When we lose our spouse especially later in life, we can draw the conclusion that there is nothing left for us. Interestingly, my mum who was 78 this week has more hobbies and …read more

I posted yesterday about Is there life after death, and Diane wrote such wonderful words that I wanted to share them with you. She also left a link to the Waterbug story
“I believe that the loss of a loved one does change you forever but that the change isn’t always a bad thing. The days will come when the smiles will take over the tears when talking about our loved ones. Everything we go though in  this life as an affect on us death is no different.”
It was the last sentence that made me really think…”everything we got through….has …read more

I came across this quote from Mark Steven Johnson
“Everything you do in life, every choice you make, has a consequence. When you do things without thinkin’, then you ain’t makin’ the choice. The choice is makin’ you.”
After the dismal week I have had, this quote helped me. It is so true that life is about choices, and in reality who makes those choices…you. In grief you can feel that choices have been taken away from you…that is not true. Life may have thrown you a curve ball, however you still have choices…

Choices about how you recover from your grief
Choices about …read more

Death brings a new thinking about life. I read this quote on life…not sure who said it!
“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well”
On those dark days, the days when you are battling against the depression all widows and widowers feel…then think about this quote. We have loved, we have lost…..in rebuilding our life we need to think of the width as well as the length of our life’s journey.

When you grieve you can so easily concentrate on death, or dying that you can forget the purpose of life. Life and death are circular friends who dance with each other day in day out…so what is my take on life?  
L= Love and to be loved
I = Inspire a legacy which you can be proud of
F= Family and friends and the human bonds that we create, share and experience together
E= Enjoy the rarest gift that we have been given life. You are given the chance to enjoy the world, life has to be about love and enjoyment
 That is my …read more