I was babysitting and my friend’s little girl came and sat on my knee. She looked at me and said “When I lost my baby rabbit, I was upset but then I went and got a bandage for my heart. They are great in helping you feel better.”  
Intrigued I said “A bandage? Have you got one for me?”
She looked, moved closer and gave me a huge hug….”There you are a pain bandage, I bet you feel better now”
I smiled, don’t kids just explain things so well!

I wrote yesterday about my isolated feeling over the weekend. I have thought about it overnight and here are my reflections

When you are grieving you shut down your emotions to protect yourself. Maybe what I am feeling is the “numbness” associated with my heart still not being ready to emotionally join the world as yet.
It is OK! My body, my heart has been through shock and an immense amount of pain. I am not ‘weird’, I am completely normal!
It takes time to rejoin the world. When I think how far I have come, I have come a   long way….there …read more

I really enjoyed going out on Saturday but I did notice how I have changed. I used to be the “life and soul” but this weekend I was the quiet one, smiling at everyone but quiet. I found it hard to be upbeat, I loved the feeling of being amongst friends, I enjoyed the day but I was like a spectator. Maybe, this is the first stage – building confidence in going out by on my own.  I hope so as I almost felt like a visitor in my body(!)
I suppose it shows that the process is long and that …read more

Over at MabelandHarry there are 10 lessons for leaders to learn from Tibetan Monks but as I read them I thought wow, they are great for everyone here is the list
Leaders can learn a lot from the Tibetan monks ability to control their emotions. Here are 10 lessons

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson
Follow the 3 R’s: Respect for self, respect for others, responsibility for all your actions.
Spend some time alone each day.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Love as if you’ve never been hurt.
Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
Once a year, go somewhere that you’ve …read more

I have managed to get into the garden over the last couple for nights – for only 20 minutes but enough to feel the air. I am no gardener but I once out there I have to say I find it really relaxing. I use the time to reflect on the progress I am making….and just use it as my time. It is funny as I look at the plants and I prune them, clear the weeds, replant some I realise   that nature is a mirror for our lives. Times go by, new shoots arrive, others die but the …read more

I posted yesterday about an e-mail I got from someone who is really hurting and I would like to thank people for the great comments. I though I would post my tips on coping with grief

Give yourself an aim for each day – write down things that you are going to do and do them no matter how hard.
Make sure you eat healthily – your body needs fuel to cope with the grief
Exercise – I go for a 30 minute walk and get my heart working for the day
Think of one dream that you have always had….and make it happen
A …read more

We have all been there the feeling of total devastation – well I have just got an e-mail from a reader who says
“ I NEED HELP AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  My husband passed away 5 years ago and  I never dealt with it because I felt that I had to be strong for my children.  I turned to drink at the time although I have been sober for over a year. but things are not getting any better  – money, grief etc….. please tell me where to turn”
I am glad that she turned to us, I …read more

Once again in my day job I was privileged to speak to Robyn McMaster of the MITA International Renewal Center who look into all kinds of areas related to the brain. The interview with Robyn is about understanding negative thinking and how we can be influenced by others, also the effect of depression on us as individuals. You can listen to The Engaging Brand podcast here and also if you haven’t listened to the show with her colleague Dr Ellen Weber (Shows 67 and 68) that is a further wonderful insight into how our brain works.

I was travelling back from London yesterday and was joined on the train by an old lady who really touched my heart. I started to speak to her and found out that she was riddled with cancer and living on borrowed time. She was laughing at the thought that she should not have been on this train, the Doctors had only given her until last Christmas.
Her positive outlook was amazing. She said she was not frightened of dying that actually she was ready to go. She was more frightened by some of what is happening in the world than by …read more

Remember tomorrow the teleconference on living with grief – here is a brief summary
“The Hospice Foundation of America’s 14th Annual National Bereavement Teleconference “Living with Grief: Before and After the Death” will be presented from 1:30 to 4 p.m. Thursday, March 22, in Rutland Regional Medical Center’s CVPS/Leahy Conference Center, rooms A, B and C.
Live via Web cast, the teleconference will explore the most current perspectives on loss and grief as experienced by persons throughout a life-limiting illness and by survivors after the death.”
I was thinking that it may be good for family and friends as a way of understanding …read more