Failure is an emotive word and one thing that has been difficult to overcome – that feeling that I have failed in some way. Grief left me thinking that no matter what I did then I would fail, that it would be better to shy away from life then to go out and fail again.
It is strange as I don’t see losing your loved one as failure, however I think it shakes your self confidence. I think you start to doubt everything around you….when you step back that is the wrong thing to do.

Success is having loved and been loved
Success …read more

Shakespeare said, “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so“. That seems an easy thing to say but not necessarily easy to do, but as people who have lost a loved one, we must think about that idea.
Life is great, life can be painful. Life is exhilarating, life is depressing. The point is life does not change it is how we think, how we feel that changes.
Loving someone can bring the most amazing happiness that you can ever imagine. Death brings an end to seeing that person, but not the love we feel. As easy as it is …read more

I just read the most wonderful way of bringing good to the death of a loved one at The Herts Advertiser
“THE tragic death of her son in the Afghan conflict has prompted Trish Quinlan to take up painting seriously.Not only has her work proved cathartic but she is also using it to raise money in memory of her son which will support several cancer charities including Grove House, the St Albans day hospice.
She added: “James is never far from our thoughts and last weekend we wore our poppies with pride as we remembered James and all the young …read more

I was reading about the following study by Harvard professors which was conducted in a nursing home.
One group of residents took charge of their daily living activities, including dressing, eating, personal hygiene and maintaining their own environments. A second group had all these functions taken care of for them by staff.
Results indicated that those in the first group were more alert, active and happier. 18 months later, 15% of that group had died, compared to 30% of the second group.

 
I know this was about the aging process but I think it is important for people who have lost their loved …read more

I saw this quote from George Bernard Shaw
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
It made me smile, it also made me think that you could change it to
“If you cannot get rid of the family grief, you may as well make it dance!”
How would you do that?
Well, by ensuring that life goes on, that you take control of your life again in order to find that happiness, by thinking of how you could create a memorial that encapsulates the values of your loved, yet lost spouse. Dances come in many forms….so …read more

Fathers day is over for another year and yet Dad has been at the forefront of my thoughts this week. It reminded me of the poem Tomorrow by Stephanie Ineson…I have posted about it before but it seems so relevant.
Tomorrow – I’ll tell him just what he means, …read more

I just read this and wanted to share it. I believe it is from Eugene H. Peterson.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure int the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

“I read your post today and it could not have been at a better time. I was just sitting here thinking who I could go and talk to. My boyfriend Josh died on November 17th of last year in a head on collision with a drunk driver. One of the many hard things about his death is we never got all the answers as to why the accident happened…. I know that having all the answers will not bring Josh back and in my heart I know what happened, but something written down would put me and my family at …read more

Some days you wonder why life can be so cruel, the pain in your heart seems to be unbearable. Your body seems to just be ripped apart and you wonder how you can carry on. The irony is that it is caused by love, love of the greatest variety. They always say that there is a thin line between love and hate….maybe we should say love and pain.
Always remember what my nana says though, to feel pain is fantastic as it means that you have tasted the feeling of true love. Never hate pain, pain means that you are one …read more

I came across this article about losing a loved one which is worth a read. It is from the University of Dundee and I especially liked this paragraph
Each one of us contains both an adult and a child. As the adult seeks to make sense of loss and tries to do all the appropriate and sensible things, alongside this is the emotional inner child, with a different agenda, who usually feels confused and abandoned. While the adult struggles bravely on, the dependent inner child is desperate for consolation. So that grieving is often a seesawing between these two parts of …read more