Facing the future as a widow or widower is difficult as you struggle to leave the past behind. Indeed you don’t want to leave the memories. I believe we need to think about
One to lose the desire to live in the past
One to to find a desire to live for the future
It is not easy that is for sure. We must draw on the fact that we have desire when you think about it….because we desire our loved one back in our life. It is not the desire that is missing, it is the ability to use that desire to …read more

My friend who I have written about before lost her husband a couple of years ago. At the time the children seemed to cope with the loss relatively well, yet recently they have had some behavioral problems. When she talked to them they told her that they wanted to see Daddy and how they wanted to talk to him, that they had never really said goodbye.
The other day she took them to a park which they used to visit as a family. She gave them some paper and a pen each. She asked them to write down what they wanted …read more

We are all struggling at the moment with our sense of loss and our grief, so I thought I would send you some heart warming news. Today it is my Nana’s 99th birthday. She lost her husband 16 years ago and did not feel that she wanted to live another day, in fact she didn’t want to live another day without him. She is a wonderful example of how widows and widowers can find a new life, no matter how old they are…..
Today she is definitately frail but she still enjoys being around us all and brings a lot of …read more

Gloria, an avid reader to the blog, emailed me a tip for you all. She said
“I am a long time reader, long time no commenter on the blog. I wanted to thank you for the blog but also all the people who leave comments, I cannot tell you how much they have helped over the months. I thought I would share a thought with you, if you think it would help others then please share. But when I lost my husband I really missed the feeling of a human being. We were never the romantic types and yet I missed …read more

This weekend I was babysitting for my friend who lost her husband last year through cancer. After about an hour I realised that  her little boy was looking at me with a kind of puzzled look on his face. I brought him onto my knee and asked him what he was thinking.
He said “I am worried about Daddy. I heard you and mum talking about how prices are rising, how expensive it is for us to be warm in our house, well Mum has a job but Daddy doesn’t as he can’t work anymore, how is he going to manage …read more

Memories are so wonderful and I loved this story that I found over at MamaConnies blog called My Best Valentine. MamaConnie describes herself as 84 years young and lost her husband in 2000 after 57 years together. She was sorting through her Valentine letters and saw these words thateased her grief
“Proverbsl 18: 22 says:”He that findeth a good wife findeth a good thing.” When I see something I really want I try to get it.The first time I saw you I said,’that’s for me.’ I proposed on our first date. I think I proposed on every other date but you …read more