One to lose the desire to live in the past

One to to find a desire to live for the future

It is not easy that is for sure. We must draw on the fact that we have desire when you think about it….because we desire our loved one back in our life. It is not the desire that is missing, it is the ability to use that desire to live our life forward not backwards.

You may be reading this and thinking “I can’t”, well I spoke to my friend who lost her husband three years ago and she said “Today, I woke up and suddenly started thinking about the future. I live with the pain today, the memories of the past but now with the desire to live life to the full”

If you are down today, you may want to cry…that is fine. But never lose that belief…belief will see us all through the grief.

Post from: Widows Quest

The other day she took them to a park which they used to visit as a family. She gave them some paper and a pen each. She asked them to write down what they wanted Daddy to know. After they had finished they tied the notes to a balloon each and let them go….into the sky.

I thought this was a wonderful idea. The children being young now have a pack of balloons by the side of their bed and any time they want to tell Daddy something then they can tie it to a balloon.

Will it work in the long run, time will tell but I think as a parent my friend is showing how important it is to find ways of allowing your children to express their grief. I thought I would share it with you…

Do you have any ideas to share to help widows and widowers with their children’s grief?

cloud, storms, water

Post from: Widows Quest

Today she is definitately frail but she still enjoys being around us all and brings a lot of love to our world. I would love it if she lives past 100…we always talked about getting that telegram from the Queen and I would love to share that moment with her. She is so precious to me and her words of wisdom have provided so much comfort to me over the years. Here is a piece of advice she gave me a few years ago

“Don’t live in the past, the past has gone. Don’t live in the future as the future is not here. Live in the moment and make each moment special by making someone smile….”

Post from: Widows Quest

“I am a long time reader, long time no commenter on the blog. I wanted to thank you for the blog but also all the people who leave comments, I cannot tell you how much they have helped over the months. I thought I would share a thought with you, if you think it would help others then please share. But when I lost my husband I really missed the feeling of a human being. We were never the romantic types and yet I missed the touch of a human hand. To help I came up with my 3 point plan..

1. I always shake people’s hands when I can. Just the feeling of thanking and connecting helps my day.
2. I go for a massage once a month.
3. I cuddle my wonderful grandchildren much more than I ever used to do, which they love.

Anyway keep up the great work and if I would share one thought….grief happens to everyone at some time, grief will change you, it is just up to you whether it is for the worse or the better and I know which one your partner would want.”

It is always great to receive such wonderful feedback, if any of you have tips to share or stories to tell just email me at anna@b5media.com

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Post from: Widows Quest

He said “I am worried about Daddy. I heard you and mum talking about how prices are rising, how expensive it is for us to be warm in our house, well Mum has a job but Daddy doesn’t as he can’t work anymore, how is he going to manage in heaven, should I send him a coat?”

Don’t you just love the innocence of youth!

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Post from: Widows Quest

“Proverbsl 18: 22 says:”He that findeth a good wife findeth a good thing.” When I see something I really want I try to get it.The first time I saw you I said,’that’s for me.’ I proposed on our first date. I think I proposed on every other date but you would never say yes.I finally bought a ring and put it on your finger and told you we were going to get married. I must have really been in love because I sold my 28 Chevy to buy that ring.

One week before we married I quit my job.I was always real smart and you had to loan me 30 dollars to get married. I never paid you back but I have tried to keep the interest paid.

When you were asked if you would marry me again you said, yes, but you wanted to change the part of the wedding vows concerning POORER!

You have been a good mother to our children and a wonderful companion to me. I just want you to know I do not regret the decision I made over 48 years go—to chase you til  you caught me!

You were my valentine then, and you are my valentine now.” 

As she says at the end – wonderful memories!

Remember to email me – anna@b5media.com your memories for the 10th August as I pull together a memorial post for my wonderful Dad

Post from: Widows Quest