If losing someone is this painful why do humans love at all?
Isn’t it strange how you can lose the power of your senses but still feel and show love?
True love is not that romantic love at all, true love is an unwavering, unconditional state of the heart which loves from the soul not the eyes.
When a human is stripped bare, when there is nothing around…what is the one possession which matters? A heart that has loved and is loved.
Life is what we make it, maybe death is what we make it too?

When you love someone, it is not just about loving them whilst …read more

Today is our remembrance Sunday and I thought that instead of publishing the usual positive thinking articles I must take the time to remember those people who put their lives on the line to protect us all at home. I can never express my thanks throughout the century for all the men and women who have paid the ultimate price for freedom.
I can’t express the emotion that I have when I see a life taken in combat and how the family copes with the grief and sheer horror of loss.
There are no words I can write on Widows Quest that …read more

Walking in town today, I looked at the wonderful shades of the trees and thought how nature has this fabulous way of defining moods, defining life, defining change….through shades.
Grief should be based on fact in a way. It is based on a factual happening – that person you love has died. Yet, grief is not matter of fact, grief is not an exact science….grief is all the shades of autumn.
Bereavement and that sense of loss stirs emotions which are on a full spectrum of pain, and those leaves I looked at today almost reflected the rainbow of grief.

The vibrant reds …read more

In grief we can isolate ourselves, in grief we can shut the world out, in grief as widows and widowers we can believe that we never want to fall in love again….
When I was coughing away, by myself this weekend, feeling sorry for myself that there was no one in the house just to look after me….(how old am I!) I started to think about connection. When we enter the world we are physically connected with our mothers…we depended on their nourishment in the womb, we depend on their milk, their support and security throughout our childhood.
When you think about …read more

I feel very lucky to have a wonderful mum. There is nothing like the unconditional love of a mother, no matter how many times I screw up, she is there just loving me for who I am…..and I think hoping I may learn from one or two of my mistakes!Anyway my mum sent me a fabulous email full of phrases to lighten your day and I thought that I would share some of them with you. Some of them made me smile, some made me think and others made me sit up and listen…..here are the phrases

“Heal the past, love …read more

Sometimes bereavement can affect the way you value yourself, it can make you feel less valued as your partner is no longer there telling you that they love you….
I know that if I am being truthful that I don’t really value me, I value others ALOT, actually too much as I always feel everyone is better than me in whatever way. I think that is what I miss most…that person who loves you unconditionally and sees the good in you and helps YOU see the good in YOU.
So a question for you today…Do you value who you are right now?
Do …read more

Gosh that sounds the most obvious sentence to write! But before understanding the true emotion of losing someone dear, I think despite my romantic, soppy nature…I hid my emotions. In some way I was frightened of them, if that makes sense?
I noticed the change only last week when I left my wonderful mum after our holiday together…my heart felt so full of love and I didn’t want to leave her…I wanted to pick her up in my pocket and bring her home. I felt tears in my eyes, I felt as though I was going to crumble….this was  I am …read more

Many posts are about how this is our life and we shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting, about needing to find some happiness without our loved one. However…
I think we also need to set our own boundaries. I know how easy it is to think I must try and pull myself together for others, I will have to do it for them…and although there may be an element of using the love of others to pull you through your grief, I also think that we need to set our own boundaries.
Boundaries protect us while our heart heals, boundaries give us some …read more

I was speaking to a widow a couple of weeks ago who said “I wish i didn’t hurt so much”
I smiled and said “Did you love him?”
She answered “With all my heart”
I asked “Are you glad you shared your love with him?”
She smiled and said “I could never regret loving him”
So I turned and said “Then remember that hurt is based on love and to not hurt that much, then you wouldn’t have loved as much. Hurt is love seeping from your heart when it is grieving. Don’t fear it, don’t wish it wasn’t there…as it means you were lucky …read more

When is the right time to move on? A question which I often get asked. The answer is simple….when you are ready and the time is different to everyone.
Love runs deep, it runs through the soul your being. It starts in the heart and flows through your veins in a way which you cannot control. When that source of love gets taken away your body, mind and spirit needs to heal.
However, one thing we all have to remember is there is no right time…it will never feel like the exact time. We have to be brave one day and open …read more