Many posts are about how this is our life and we shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting, about needing to find some happiness without our loved one. However…
I think we also need to set our own boundaries. I know how easy it is to think I must try and pull myself together for others, I will have to do it for them…and although there may be an element of using the love of others to pull you through your grief, I also think that we need to set our own boundaries.
Boundaries protect us while our heart heals, boundaries give us some …read more

I came across a site called The D Word which is run by Sue Brayne which looks at all aspects of death and dying.  She has two booklets which may help you if you are facing the death of a loved one or want to reach out to carers or friends who are losing someone close to you.
I smiled at a quote on the site from C.S.Lewis

Oh, gosh how I know that feeling, how at times I just want to be invisible instead of facing the embarrassed stranger who wants to help and yet just doesn’t know what to say …read more

Are you old enough to remember the Love is…. cartoons…well I saw one today and wondered how you would answer it if you are a widow or widower?

Leaving your loved one with the happiest memories
Knowing that love continues even when life ends
Being able to say goodbye and know that life goes on because your love goes on
Not being afraid of love, for love has made you who you are…
Learning to love yourself as much as you loved your partner

What would you say ? In grief, love is…..
[istockphoto] 

We know in our grief, that we have a huge heart – one that has loved and one that understands the meaning of love.
I think we need to dig deep into our hearts during our bereavement. We need to dig into the depth of our BIG heart – grief can make us shrivel from life, I know that I have felt that way! However, now I think it takes a big person with a big heart to cope with bereavement and use it to make the world a better place.
B = Be understanding that we were lucky to have loved, …read more

One of our readers Frank Burns left an in depth comment to the post The Widows Quest Grief Recipe which I wanted to share with you, in case you don’t read all of the comments. (There are some great conversations that may help you by the way!) I want to thank Frank for taking the time and sharing some wonderful words on grief. Here is his comment
“Grieving is all a part of what we’re supposed to do when tragedy strikes. It is a part of our being human that triggers this response.How we cope is not entirely left to us …read more

I was watching an old episode of Judging Amy last night and was struck by words from the wonderful Maxine, played by Tyne Daly, who had just lost her partner. She said as I remember something like…
“Love is a risk. When I heard of his death I became angry, the grief made me say and do things that were wrong. I’ve decided not to carry on without him……I’ve decided to go on with him and become the person he believed I could be”
It struck me because we often say we cannot carry one, and that is maybe true…because we cannot …read more

When we grieve we look for the logic in death, why our loved one has been taken from us, why the world seems to take away the good guys….we look for the logic.
This weekend I was thinking about life in general….and asked myself is there anything about the emotional side of life that is logical?
What is logical about where we were born, who we were borne to?
What is logical about love and who we fall in love with?
What is logical about our fears, about our passions?
When you think about it, why should death be logical? Birth, love is not …read more

Let’s hear it for a group celebration – “Yes, we have made it through another week…together!”
So to help us over the next week is the normal set of Sunday articles to help us think positively

Andrew Heath presents Privilege to Be with a Loved One at the Time of Death posted at Andy, saying, “My dad was one of my greatest heroes. This is my tribute to his legacy.”

Fruitpunch presents A relationship to last a lifetime posted at Fruit Punch Diary.

Alexander De Foe presents Supercharge Your Creative Power posted at SpiritualBlog.com.
Anna presents How to be a successful failure posted at …read more

I haven’t had the best of weeks like you all know, then I put on the news and saw the crane disaster in Manhattan New York. My heart goes out to the families that were starting a new day, full of life expectation and now facing the grief of losing a loved one.
Life can be so cruel, and on days like this we can see the harsh realities of life. We must think about how lives of those around us can be taken so quickly and ensure that we show our love on a daily basis. I phoned my mum …read more

Over at Seattle PI I read an insight into what mourning is and what mourning isn’t – called Test Your Knowledge of Mourning.
I would like to draw attention to their comment about health, which is so important
While your own health may be your last concern while you are mourning a loved one, you should try to keep your physical well-being in mind by making sure you’re eating, getting some exercise and seeing a doctor if and when you need to.