From the loss of Nana I have learned

• The importance of family.
• The importance of dignity and respect and how when you are with someone dying. it isn’t about your feelings – it is about what you can offer them
• That you can never take anything or anyone for granted…even for a day.
• That Nana was right….be true to yourself. Be empathetic for others, look out for others, be respectful of others but never lose your true self
• That no matter what you do, no matter how close you are….you will never feel you have done enough. However, doing your best and telling people how you feel will lesson the regrets.

What did you learn? Do you see grief as just too painful to learn from…or can you take something concrete to enhance your and your friends/family’s life afterwards?

Post from: Widows Quest

Many posts are about how this is our life and we shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting, about needing to find some happiness without our loved one. However…

I think we also need to set our own boundaries. I know how easy it is to think I must try and pull myself together for others, I will have to do it for them…and although there may be an element of using the love of others to pull you through your grief, I also think that we need to set our own boundaries.

Boundaries protect us while our heart heals, boundaries give us some space to learn how to live again. Boundaries help us understand what we need, what is important to us.

When I say boundaries I mean we sometimes need to be a little self centred, we need to think about our own needs and build time and space into our lives. Self centred sounds selfish, I don’t mean it in that way. I mean it in the way that we need to see there are times when we need to say No. There will be times when we need to lock ourselves away and take time for ourselves.

Once again we shouldn’t feel guilty about creating some boundaries, those boundaries don’t need to be fixed forever just for as long as we need those boundaries to protect our heart.

Post from: Widows Quest

I smiled at a quote on the site from C.S.Lewis

Oh, gosh how I know that feeling, how at times I just want to be invisible instead of facing the embarrassed stranger who wants to help and yet just doesn’t know what to say or do….mind you with time, I suppose I have realized that part of it is reaching out and helping them.

Post from: Widows Quest

• Leaving your loved one with the happiest memories
• Knowing that love continues even when life ends
• Being able to say goodbye and know that life goes on because your love goes on
• Not being afraid of love, for love has made you who you are…
• Learning to love yourself as much as you loved your partner

What would you say ? In grief, love is…..

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Post from: Widows Quest

I think we need to dig deep into our hearts during our bereavement. We need to dig into the depth of our BIG heart – grief can make us shrivel from life, I know that I have felt that way! However, now I think it takes a big person with a big heart to cope with bereavement and use it to make the world a better place.

B = Be understanding that we were lucky to have loved, even if our loved one has been taken from us too early. Lets dig deep into our heart and forgive the loss and the pain. Because the pain has come because of the joy of having loved – many people never get the chance.

I = Instead of fearing love, now that we know the power of love, spend the rest of our lives bringing love to the life of others. We know that loneliness is an awful feeling, we can ensure that our family and friends never feel the pain of feeling alone, by being there for them.

G= Generous. We can either allow the grief to destroy us, or we can allow the grief to create positive change. By being generous to others, we are using our grief in a positive way. I know that my loved one would have wanted something good to come out of his death – I know give my time generously to other widows, terminal ill patients and charitable organisations.

I also know that this community has a BIG heart – you give me hope everyday…thank you x

Post from: Widows Quest

“Grieving is all a part of what we’re supposed to do when tragedy strikes. It is a part of our being human that triggers this response.How we cope is not entirely left to us to decide.There are caring people in the world,even those who you may have thought didn’t care about you, are only just around the corner and they will come to you and help you through your pain.

What is important for all of us to remember in every day of our lives, is the value our loved one’s left behind for others who will never forget their actions and deeds.If we can associate our emotions to the wonderful legacies that were created, that in itself, gives us the strength to fight our demons and restore some normality back into our lives.

The pain we feel inside is brought on by sudden impact of loss.It is natural, though hard to wean out of system because we are in the transition stage of mourning.We have to embrace our emotions positively and ask ourselves where we can go from here.

Create a road map and plot out your thoughts or simply write them down.Cross off what you were able to achieve day by day and soon, you’ll notice that in your personal strength, you have the will & courage to move on. Interact with others, do not corner yourself and lock the world out from your life.Be flexible and look at what you can contribute to others who need support.

If you’re online & reading this, use the Internet and eek out resources that will drive your passion forward. Within no time to next, you’ll be amazed at how much of you the world needs. As a starter, I will recommend petey.heartheirstories.com.Read, Listen & Apply all that you possess within you and your loved one’s will be guiding you through every decision you make.God Bless.”

I value the words that people write, I value the time you all take to join in the conversation. I value the fact that you all care….I value our online friendship if that doesn’t sound silly!

Post from: Widows Quest

“Love is a risk. When I heard of his death I became angry, the grief made me say and do things that were wrong. I’ve decided not to carry on without him……I’ve decided to go on with him and become the person he believed I could be”

It struck me because we often say we cannot carry one, and that is maybe true…because we cannot carry on being the same person.

We were defined by being the partner of our loved one, their death means that the person we were is no longer possible. Maybe what we need to see our future not lies in being who we were but the person that grief has created. A single person with the knowledge of love and the ability to use that love to grow and make the world a better place….

Who do you want to become?

Post from: Widows Quest

This weekend I was thinking about life in general….and asked myself is there anything about the emotional side of life that is logical?

What is logical about where we were born, who we were borne to?

What is logical about love and who we fall in love with?

What is logical about our fears, about our passions?

When you think about it, why should death be logical? Birth, love is not really logical…maybe the logic  lies in just one sentence… 

The only certainties in life are that we are born and that we die…everything else in between is just what happens….”

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Post from: Widows Quest

So to help us over the next week is the normal set of Sunday articles to help us think positively

Andrew Heath presents Privilege to Be with a Loved One at the Time of Death posted at Andy, saying, “My dad was one of my greatest heroes. This is my tribute to his legacy.”

Fruitpunch presents A relationship to last a lifetime posted at Fruit Punch Diary.

Alexander De Foe presents Supercharge Your Creative Power posted at SpiritualBlog.com.

Anna presents How to be a successful failure posted at The Engaging Brand 

Patrick Schwerdtfeger presents Are you capable of success? posted at Tactical Execution, saying, “The first step in success is a belief system that supports the achievement of that objective.”

Dereck presents How to become what you want to become, in about two days posted at I Will Not Die.

John Wolfe presents Freeing Ourselves of Guilt posted at Wind of the Soul.

Gary Evans presents 3 Ways To Detach From An Outcome posted at Good To Feel Good.

Adam presents Excellence Vs Perfection – Are You Sabotaging Yourself? posted at Let Us Grow.

GreatManagement presents Get Rid Of Your Bad Habits Once And For All posted at The GreatManagement Blog, saying, “Make changing your habits easy”

Chris Edgar presents Releasing Our Need To Be “Taken Seriously” posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “Transitioning to a career that has us feel more fulfilled—and overcoming the anxieties in the way of the change—is a big achievement. Unfortunately, making this kind of transition usually doesn’t render our lives anxiety-free. One of our big post-transition worries is often that people no longer “take us seriously.” In this article, I talk about how we can transcend this fear by putting our attention on what we’re contributing in our new career rather than how it’s perceived.”

Peter Murphy presents How to Find Inspiration When You Need to Get Motivated posted at Get Motivated Stay Motivated, saying, “This is a practical article on how to find inspiration when you need to get into action. I hope your carnival readers will find it useful. Good luck with the carnival!”

Crystal Nichols presents You are blessed. Now act like it! posted at Christian in the Corporate World.

David B. Bohl presents Note to Your Inner Child: Childlike and Childish Are Not the Same Thing posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Too many people confuse connecting with their inner child and living irresponsibility or cultivating a lack of maturity.”

Michael Miles presents The Silva Mind Control Method posted at Effortless Wealth and Abundance.

Heather Johnson presents How Positive is Positive Reinforcement? posted at Professor Luongo’s Blog Site.

CG Walters presents Union of Twin Flames Changes Reality posted at Into the Mist, saying, “Cause and effect are not linear. Change, or an unfolding horizon, seeks out the most receptive individuals in which to manifest its own beginning.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest

Life can be so cruel, and on days like this we can see the harsh realities of life. We must think about how lives of those around us can be taken so quickly and ensure that we show our love on a daily basis. I phoned my mum who is on a cruise at the moment….just to tell her how much I love her and that I miss her so much when she is away.

No words will comfort those families at the moment, however I want you to know that here at Widows Quest we send you our thoughts, our love and our shoulders to cry on. We can’t bring your loved ones home tonight however we can provide support and understanding to you all.

Tonight who do you need to ring to tell them you love them? 

Post from: Widows Quest