To be mean, is to be awful…..when we are searching for that meaning we can often be cruel to our own heart, mind and soul. We take them on a dark path, often depressive of nature in the hope that in the darkest moment we will find something bright…how ironic that the word mean has two such different definitions and yet so both true during the grief cycle.

Maybe we should think of it as in search for loving……maybe that way we can take our mind, body and soul on a happier journey of personal discovery

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Post from: Widows Quest

Once their was a smile, now there is resignation

Once their was a young woman full of life

Now there is a woman affected by death

Once there was a woman who lived to love

Now there is a woman afraid of loving.

Once there was a woman who looked full of hope

Now there was a woman in search of hope.

And yet,  once there was a woman who thought she appreciated life and indeed love

But now there is a woman who truly understands that you never fully appreciate it….. 

….Until its gone.

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Post from: Widows Quest

• Don’t be scared of being on your own to think. Use the time to think about YOU. One tip I was given was to write the speech you would want someone to make at your funeral, then create an action plan that brings that speech to reality.
• Write down 5 of your strengths and think of how you can build your new life around them.
• Write down 3 things you have always wanted to do and didn’t have the chance. Then make a promise that you will achieve them before it is too late.
• Review what is important to you and ensure the balance of work, family and you represents the right mix of your time.
• Use social networking sites such as Facebook to find those friends that you lost touch with over the years.
• Start a new hobby – remember how my mum started to play bowls, something she had never done with Dad. She was creating new memories rather than living in a world haunted by his loss.

You can find yourself again. I can tell you that every person, during bereavement, feels as though they will not cope, that they cannot or don’t want to live on. However, you as a human being was such a special person when you were single that your spouse chose you, your spouse saw an  individual with wonderful qualities….this time is about remembering what made you special to your spouse and starting to remember what made you that special person that deserved to be loved so intently.

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Post from: Widows Quest

“We can only learn to love, by loving”

As widows or widowers we could change that to 

“We can only learn to love again, by loving again”

Grief is the end of one chapter of your life. It is not the end of loving. After all death has brought an end to the partnership but it has brought an end to t he love we feel – that love is causing our grief. That shows that we can still love, that grief shows that our heart still ha s the capacity. As hard as it seems, one day our heart will open up to the risk of loving again….it was born to love.

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Post from: Widows Quest

At first I fought the feeling now I  have decided to listen to my body…if it wants to sleep then I am going to give it sleep. I think one thing we need to do is to learn that our body has a wonderful way of talking to us, of telling us when it needs to recover. Yet, I feel guilty at sleeping like a baby, of sleeping when I should be doing things…

I realise that guilt is such a powerful emotion in the journey through the grief cycle…..guilt at now   loving them more, guilt at what I could have done differently, guilt at smiling, now guilt at even sleeping….do you think there comes a time when your body says …”Enough guilt?“

Post from: Widows Quest

Matthew Spears presents The flame of blame posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “By assigning responsibility to anyone or anything for a given result, you are assigning blame. It is the need to look for a cause for an experience that is the major factor in blame. So if you want to let go of the blaming process, you must let go of a need to assign responsibility.”

hkalchemy presents Effortless Abundance | Making your dreams come true posted at Effortless Wealth and Abundance.

David B. Bohl presents Who Are You? 4 Steps For Getting Back to Your Individuality posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Our lives are defined by our choices. But often, the choices we make don’t appear at the time to be the important crossroads that they later turn out to have been.”

Edith presents Who are we? posted at Edith Yeung.Com: Dream. Think. Act..

Jirel presents From today I will posted at Positive and Successful Life Style tips.

Heather Johnson presents 7 Ways to Think More Positively | SKORCAREER posted at SKORCAREER.

ananga presents 5 Ways to Hold on to Your Energy posted at Ananga Sivyer’s Living by Design Blog.

Shaheen Lakhan presents Are You Depressed Because You?re Introverted? posted at GNIF Brain Blogger, saying, “Happiness and depression are inheritable and there are genetic links to certain personality traits. Those who are extroverted, open, agreeable and conscientious are more likely to be happy. Those with opposing traits — introversion, disagreeability and neuroticism — are more likely to be depressed.”

Chris Edgar presents How To Put “Negative Emotions” In Perspective posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “We’re taught to reject or avoid certain feelings we label “negative,” but ultimately our emotions are neither good nor bad — they’re just energy we experience in our bodies. I take the reader through an exercise to help them remove the labels from the sensations they’ve been avoiding, and help them achieve inner peace around those feelings.”

Metaliphe presents Are You Grieving? posted at Chandra Unplugged – No nonsense, Straight-up blogging from a Life Coach, saying, “Are you grieving over the loss of a loved one? Whether you are around friends, family, acquaintances, or strangers, understand that grieving is a natural and normal part of life. If you are grieving and are having trouble being with others, here are a few ways to better deal with your loss.”

Frederic Premji presents How To Do Anything Properly posted at BlogMotivation.com, saying, “Great article that discusses how you should approach anything that you do.”

SJ Yee presents 101 Affirmations You Can Start Using Today! posted at Personal Development for the Book Smart, saying, “A great compilation of affirmations you can use in all areas of your life.”

Scott.Goolsby presents Nature and Spirit posted at Unapologetic Genius, saying, “Connecting with Self through nature.”

David B. Bohl presents Walking With Persephone posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Life is very much like the cycles of Persephone’s life. We experience periods of great joy and fulfillment, only to suffer a loss and be cast into the depths of hell.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our
carnival submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest

• You ARE strong..look how you have coped since his death….
• Just take each minute, each hour, each day at a time…
• You will get through this moment, it is your heart just needing a little rest in its battle to cope…allow it a moment.
• Tears are not a sign of weakness, tears are a sign of someone who has had the joy of loving
• I cannot change what has happened, I wish I could but I can’t…so I need to concentrate on coping with the future not trying to live in the past.
• If I feel in a mess…I just write down 3 clear actions that I will take

When you are feeling depressed, it is important to think positively….and talk in positive ways to yourself. I know that is not easy, however the more you try the easier it gets…I promise!

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Post from: Widows Quest

I told her my story and that I still miss him each day. She turned held my hand and said “Oh, I would never say that you have lost them. Loving is a special gift that not everyone enjoys….love is a gain, no matter if death breaks the relationship earlier than expected because your heart has fulfilled it’s destiny. You have gained, not lost“  

Wow, what a wonderful thought and I couldn’t wait to share with you all…we have gained because our hearts have fulfilled their destiny…

Funny, how put that way, I smile with that thought!

Post from: Widows Quest

My love goes out to all her family and Elsie would be very proud of the dignity with which they have coped. Losing anyone is painful, no matter the age…..but losing a smile that used to make the world shine will mean one thing – we will all have to smile a little more to make up the difference!

Post from: Widows Quest

“Here is a poem I wrote in 98′ after my Grandma died, I had written it for my Grandfather even though the roles were reversed in the poem. My Grandpa loved it very much and so do I, even though looking at it now some of the lines seem childish! 

-thanks for sharing this with us Tiffany, and as for childish, it is your feelings at the time, feelings are not childish.

Post from: Widows Quest