I was speaking to my aunt last night and she was so excited because her son had just received a doctorate. Her voice was sad and happy, because her husband died about 7 years ago and she was upset that he was not here to feel the pride that she was feeling. I asked her “How she coping with the mixed emotions?”
She said she was going to his grave today and was going to talk to him, fill him in on what his son had achieved. She said that although he wasn’t still alive, it didn’t mean she couldn’t talk …read more

The post yesterday about the letter I received from Joan really has brought some great comments, have a read if you are feeling down today. The essence of the responses are that no matter how deep you depressions, no matter how much grief has taken hold, there is hope. If an 87 year old can turn their life around and set new targets after turning to drink to try and die to go to her loved one, then surely we can. Here are 4 reasons that Joan gives me HOPE.
H= Have a list of 3 things that you want to …read more

I received this e-mail and it really did brighten my day, I hope it brightens yours and gives you hope.
“I am 87 years old and have been a widow for 8 months. I had been married for 66 years and know the true feeling of love. When he died I started to drink, at first to get to sleep and then more in the hope that I didn’t wake up. I just wanted to go to him, I couldn’t bare to be apart. Other than the war we had never spent a night apart and I could not face life …read more

I was trying to think of my favourite Christmas to share with you. Well, it was while we were both young and at the start of seeing each other. Both of us wanted to spend Christmas Day with each other but family commitments meant that we couldn’t….Then I got a call in the morning and he said “I can sneak away for a couple of hours…can you? ”
We met at a motorway petrol station! We bought a sandwich and a couple of bottles of coca cola…and sat in the car with a blanket wrapped around us. He put on a tape of …read more

Trish,
 Sorry I am late in moderating the comments, hope you will forgive me as I went to pick my mum up for Xmas yesterday. I have just read your comment out to her and her eyes filled up with pain. She knows only too well, how sitting next to the man you love and waiting for his last breath is torment and yet at the same time a relief. Both mum and I are with you, and will be thinking about you….there are few words to say at this time other than whether here in body or not, the love …read more

I received an email from someone that I thought I would share with you all – again I have changed the names for anonymity.
 ”Anna
I have been reading your blog for many weeks, and have gained so much comfort from your writing. One area that you haven’t touched on is death being a release. My husband had been ill for over 2 years and in the last 6 months could not  talk or interact. I have to say my reaction when he passed away was relief, not because I didn’t love him with all my heart, but because he had died …read more

Welcome to the December 17, 2006 edition of positive thinking.
Raymond David Salas presents The Power of a Gratitude Journal posted at ZenChill.com – Power Tools for Mind, Body, and Soul.
John Wesley presents Improve Your Personal Effectiveness by Working Less posted at Pick the Brain – Wit and Wisdom for Your Inspiration, saying, “This article is definitely about improving your life for the better.”
Anna presents Mind Fitness Program posted at The Engaging Brand
David Maister presents What If You’re Not That Interested in People? posted at Passion, People and Principles, saying, “Truly insightful comments from readers about the root causes of connecting …read more

I came across a site called Remembered Forever that has a forum and also allows you to build a memorial website for your loved ones. As the names come across the top I saw Diana, Princess of Wales which made me smile as she was someone who I truly admired.
Apparently the site was created after a sudden loss in the family, and the whole family found it an excellent way of not only easing the grief process, but celebrating the life of a family member.  Memorialization, can be massively important to families, and a great way of allowing all members of the family to …read more

I don’t know whether it is because of Christmas but I am finding that my mind is working overtime on memories. I keep reliving him dying, how I could have done more, how I miss him. Now I know I try and write in a positive way to help others but some days are harder than others. Is it Christmas…what can be causing my mind at the moment to be filled with thoughts about his death? Can anyone help? Maybe, I just have to allow my mind this time, maybe I have to see this as part of the grieving …read more

When someone dies, you can lose trust. You don’t want to trust someone else with your heart, trust in your beliefs – how can they take someone so good? and trust in your ability to survive.
Trust is such a fundamental part of life…don’t mistake grief for a reason not to trust. Trust has brought you a huge amount of happiness in the past and it will in the future. When you trust you will get hurt on occassions but hurt is there to keep you objective….trust remains a foundation of happiness and relationships. The one person you should trust is …read more